Ladies Listen Up Read Online Free Page A

your ass.”
    “Man, you’re crazy as shit.”
    “ I’m crazy? You just had your wedding crashed by Kristen and your soon-to-be baby’s mama. Then you got your ass whipped by a sixty-year-old man, but I’m crazy.”
    “Man, that shit ain’t funny.” I half laughed to keep from feeling completely miserable. The rest of the ride up, he helped me laugh to keep from crying.
    “Yo, when we get back you need to have one objective.”
    “What’s that?”
    “Damage control. I mean, shits already blown sky-high, but you just need to start trying to pass out umbrellas before it starts fallingfrom the sky. Whatever you do, leave Alicia alone because there ain’t no way you can possibly straighten this mess out.”
    Jacob was a true friend. He even took my cell-phone calls when it all began to blow up. My mother wanted to blast me. All she could focus on was her embarrassment. Alicia’s best friend called to curse me out. Jacob fielded it all without hesitation. The only call I took was from my coworker Lisa. She was my best friend at work and a sixth-grade teacher.
    “Motherfucker, you’re crazy.” She laughed into the phone. The next thing she said was “Aren’t you glad you listened to me and didn’t invite any of those assholes from work to the wedding?”
    “Yes, Lisa.”
    “So, what are you going to do now? Are you going to be with the ghetto bitch who busted in?”
    “Hell no.”
    “You need to kill that bitch. She’s crazy.”
    “No doubt. Look, I’m gonna keep drinking this Henny and I’ll talk to you later.”
    “All right. You gonna be okay?”
    “Yeah, I’m cool.”
    Then she started laughing again. “So, are you coming to work since you aren’t going on your honeymoon?”
    “Fuck you.” I laughed back and hung up the phone.
    I told Jacob how grateful I was that he’d helped me escape, even if it was temporary. As I gazed out the windows as we cruised toward a night of gambling, my mind drifted. If I ever wrote a book, I was thinking that it would sell. People loved drama and sex. I was no writer, but for the right price, who couldn’t tell the truth?

4
Birds of a Feather?
    A fter seeing my world go up in flames, Jacob was determined to keep his house in order. A situation had come up and he was now willing to do the unthinkable to get her off of his back. Anna had gone from being his number one fan to borderline stalker. At first he’d welcomed the attention; now the junior had him way past worried. In a world where young people only tend to worship ballplayers, actors, singers, and rappers, Jacob, at first, had been truly flattered at the crush that Anna had on him. She complimented him on his clothing, his teaching, and then, eventually, his looks.
    She had begun to show up in between classes just to say hello, and now that she had a car and no longer had to catch a bus home, she made it her business to stop by daily after school for a chat. It was during one of these chats that Jacob began to notice that Anna seemed a little detached from reality.
    As Jacob had sat recording a few grades in his book, Anna had walked in and closed his door. “What’s up?” he asked.
    As she moved closer he noticed the redness in her eyes. Anna plopped down at a desk in front of him, covered her face with her hands, and proceeded to burst into tears. “Mr. Marsh, my life is over.”
    Jacob looked around the room as if someone else could help him, but there was no one there and in a panic he tried to console her. “Listen, it can’t be that bad,” he said. “Tell me what’s wrong.”
    She explained that one of her friends had lied on her and now her popularity was plummeting. Expertly, Jacob made light of the situation and assured her that things would blow over.
    After listening for a few moments, she’d smiled and told him thanks, before saying, “Well, at least I have band and you.”
    With that, Jacob swallowed and tried to figure out if Anna did indeed have a screw loose.
     
    Jacob was