Kitty's House of Horrors Read Online Free Page A

happened. But I was happy for the confessions, because
     they made for great entertainment.
    “Audra, Audra, Audra,” I said. “You know some people believe that vampires don’t even have souls?”
    “But I
do,
I
understand,
I have the innate sense of style and superiority! I feel the music of the night!”
    Oh no. One of
those.
“Audra, do you collect dried red roses in your bedroom? In fact, your whole bedroom is done up in black and red, isn’t it?
     You dress in black and wear a lot of eye makeup? And you listen to a lot of Sarah Brightman?”
    “Yes,” she said, tentative.
    “Okay. Here’s what I think. I think you’re a bit of a whiner.”
    “But you’re not being
fair!
You’re not even
listening
to me!”
    Well… “I’d like you to try something. I want you to count to ten and exhale slowly. It’s a calming exercise. It works for
     me every time. Can you try it now? Deep breath, and one, two, three—”
    “But I
am
calm!”
    “Just keep up that counting, Audra, and I bet if you tell your friend that you’ll stop making fun of her if she stops making
     fun of you, you guys’ll get along just great.” Gratefully, I hit the cutoff. “Next call, what have you got?”
    “Hi, Kitty. Thanks for taking my call. I want to talk about bounty hunters. Those guys who go out hunting supernatural monsters.”
    This night was definitely not going my way. I didn’t want to talk about bounty hunters, but who was I to deny my audience?
     I knew I wasn’t going to like where this went. I sighed. “What about them?”
    “You’ve met a lot of these bounty hunters, right? Why don’t we hear more about them in the news and stuff? I’d have thought
     they’d want publicity, that they’d want to get some credit for the work they do.”
    Looking back on it, I was kind of shocked at how many supernatural bounty hunters I had met. Not by intention, of course.
     Self-preservation dictated I stay as far away from professional assassins as possible.
    “If they started working in public,” I said, “then they’d have to be held accountable for what they do. Right now, when they’re
     underground, they don’t have to put on a good face for anyone. And when the people they’re hunting are also underground, so
     that no one misses them when they disappear, there’s no accountability, no due process, and sometimes no justice.”
    Except in rare cases, like Cormac’s, when he’d been justified in making the kill—and had been convicted for it anyway. The
     no-win situation. I wasn’t going to bring that up if I could help it, which was part of why this topic was making me nervous.
     It was hitting too close to home. Never mind having to talk to listeners who clearly wanted people like me dead. Weren’t they
     supposed to be fans?
    This guy wasn’t buying it. “Let’s face it, people like that have been around for centuries, right? And the freaks haven’t
     taken over yet, so it must be working. What’s wrong with letting them do their jobs?”
    Sometimes I thought my listeners were the smartest people around. Sometimes I despaired for the human race.
    I said, “I think the question at hand isn’t whether or not these hunters should go public, but whether they should be regulated
     by the government. Licensed, trained, paid regular salaries. Made an extension of existing law enforcement. Hell, train existing
     law enforcement and let them do the same job for supernatural citizens that they do for everyone else. It’s already happening—the
     police department right here in Denver has a paranatural unit now.”
    The guy’s mocking tone was clear. “Oh yeah, that’ll bring a whole lot of protection and justice to the system.”
    “Come on, people, have a little faith. You have to start somewhere or you end up with anarchy. You end up with guys claiming
     to be vampire hunters running around staking whoever they please in a self-proclaimed war against evil. Next call, please.
     Kansas City, you’re