Junie B. Jones and that Meanie Jim's Birthday Read Online Free

office.
    I have to go there when I am unruly.
    Unruly
is the school word for not being ruly.
    There is a typing lady there. She isn’t allowed to smile.
    “Sit down,” she said.
    She pointed at the blue chair.
    “Yeah, only I don’t actually like to sit there, remember that? ’Cause that is wherethe bad kids sit. And I am not even bad,” I explained.
    I explain that to her every time I go there.
    The typing lady leaned over the counter at me. She made her face look scary at me.
    “Sittttt dowwwwn,”
she said.
    I sat down.
    Then I pulled my frog jumper over my face. So nobody could see me.
    “Pull your skirt back down,” said the typing lady.
    “Yeah, only I’m actually allowed to do this. ’Cause I have on tights,” I said. “See them? They are green with little tadpoles on them.”
    Just then, I heard Principal’s voice.
    “Well, well…Junie B. Jones. What a surprise,” he said.
    My mouth dropped all the way opened.
    “HEY!” I hollered from under my dress. “HOW DID YOU KNOW IT’S ME UNDER HERE? ’CAUSE YOU CAN’T EVEN SEE MY FACE!”
    “Lucky guess,” said Principal.
    After that, I uncovered my head. And me and him went in his office.
    I climbed up in the big wood chair.
    Principal looked very tiredish. He rubbed the sides of his baldie head.
    “Okay, let’s hear it. What’s your story this time?” he said.
    I sat up straight and tall.
    “My Story This Time, by Junie B. Jones.
    “Once upon a time, I didn’t get invited to a meanie boy’s birthday. And I am the
only one
in
all
of Room Nine who isn’t going. And so that’s how come I was movingtoday. Only Mother brought me to school very stiff. And then I was a buzzing bee. Only Crybaby William is a squealer. And Lucille won’t be a good twin. And so then Mrs. yelled at me. And that’s how come I had to twist that Jim’s head. And now I am sitting here in this big wood chair.”
    I folded my hands on my lap.
    “The end.”
    Principal put his head down on his desk.
    I peeked at him.
    “Are you laying low?” I whispered.
    He sat up again. Then he called my mother on the telephone.
    Those two talk very often.
    This time, they talked about the birthday party. And how I’m not invited.
    After he hanged up, Principal looked nicer at me.
    “I guess sometimes we grown-ups think we’re the only ones with problems,” he said. “We forget that even when you’re little, life can be tough. Can’t it, Junie B. Jones?”
    “Yes,” I said. “Life can get your goat.”
    After that, me and him went out of his office. And he lifted me into the blue chair again.
    “I want you to wait here a minute,” he said. “There’s someone I have to talk to before I can get this settled.”
    “Yeah, only guess what? I don’t actually want to sit in this chair,” I explained. “On account of this is where the bad kids sit. And I’m not even bad.”
    Principal thought and thought. Then he snapped his fingers.
    “I think I might have the perfect solution,” he said.
    He went in his office and brought out a giant shopping bag.
    “What if we hide you under here?” he asked. “If we hide you under this bag, no one will be able to see you at all.”
    I jumped up and down very excited. ’Cause hiding is my favorite thing in the whole world, that’s why!
    Principal sat me down in the chair.
    He put that giant shopping bag over my head.
    “HEY! WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?” I said.

    Then I laughed and laughed. ’Cause that is called
comedy,
of course.
    I bended my knees and pulled them under the bag. I hugged them real tight.
    “Now all you can see is the tippy-toes of my shoes!” I said very happy.
    “This is the perfectest solution I ever saw! And so how did you even think of this wonderful thing?” I asked.
    Only Principal didn’t answer me back.
    ’Cause he probably went back to his office already.
    After that I hided and hided inside my bag.
    I hided a real long time.
    It was a jillion years, I think.
    “Guess what? This is taking