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ideal youth-team manager – a tough man who would come down on you like a ton of bricks if you stepped out of line but would also build up your confidence when he felt it necessary. I have never really feared authority and have always been pretty cheeky, which I think he quite liked, but he often gave me a bollocking when I crossed the line between being confident and gobby.
    In those days at Arsenal, everyone (first team, reserves and youth-team players) trained together during the first week of pre-season. There were a total of sixty players. I remember this as I was number fifty-eight – I believe it was sorted out via alphabetical order, not ability!
    We were then mixed up into several groups to work at one of the different stations spread around the training ground for thirty minutes at a time. These stations included a body weight circuit, the dreaded perimeter run (around the outskirts of the whole training ground), shorter shuttle runs and head tennis.
    The late George ‘Geordie’ Armstrong was in charge of my group and,while I cannot remember everyone in it, I can recall defender Nigel Winterburn’s behaviour. We were doing some simple weaving in and out of poles but Nigel decided he would just run through them and clothesline them all like a WWE wrestler. I was stunned! All the senior players just laughed at him and Geordie did not say much. I bet he was pissed off though.
    In those days, pre-season was not taken very seriously, especially for the first couple of weeks. A lot of players came back overweight so the first priority was to shift that excess via lots of running – not like it is nowadays where footballs are often incorporated on the first day.
    Having said that, there were balls used for head tennis, of course. It is called ‘head’ tennis but you can use any part of your body to get the ball over the net. I had gone from playing ‘headers and volleys’ with my friends in the park to playing it with experienced Premier League and international players. Suffice to say I was a nervous wreck and my sole aim was to ensure I was not the one to make a mistake.
    Paul Dickov, the fiery Scottish striker, was in my group and prided himself on his head tennis expertise. He could not care less if you were an established player or a spotty teenager – if you made a mistake he deemed preventable, he gave you both barrels. Luckily one of my strengths has always been my first touch so I managed to get through that unscathed.
    On one of those early days my group had just completed its perimeter run and we were waiting for our turn on the head tennis court. Dennis Bergkamp was playing in the group ahead of us and produced a piece of skill that left me open-mouthed. The ball came over the net from about 10 metres in the air, but Bergkamp cushioned and caught it on his foot in one motion and then nonchalantly flicked it back over the net. Everyone went mad! It was amazing and my words probably do not do it justice. Even in those early days it was starting to dawn on me just how good you needed to be to make a career for yourself at the highest level.
    The first few months were a real learning curve. My adolescent bodywas struggling to adapt to the rigours of full-time football and I had gone from being a top player in every team I had played in to being one of the weakest. Physically and mentally I was still a boy and I soon realised I had a massive challenge on my hands to make a career for myself at any level of professional football, let alone playing in the Premier League.
    My home in rural Essex was geographically on the cusp of Arsenal’s clubrun accommodation boundary. As a result, they let me make my own choice and I decided I wanted to stay with my family and friends.
    This was another mistake.
    I should have moved to north London and immersed myself in trying to be a professional footballer. Instead I spent a lot of time on the train commuting to and from Highbury.
    As an apprentice footballer in those