Jonah and Co. Read Online Free

Immortality.
    We returned to the hotel in time to contribute to a heated argument upon the subject of tipping.
    “It’s perfectly simple,” said Berry. “You think of what you would hate to have given before the War, double it, add forty per cent, for the increased cost of living, halve it because of the Exchange, ask them whether they’d like it in notes or gold, and pay them in postage-stamps.”
    “I want to know,” said Daphne, “what to give the chambermaid.”
    “Eight francs fifty. That’s the equivalent of half-a-crown before the War.”
    “Nonsense,” said his wife. “Five francs is heaps, and you know it.”
    “I think it’s too much,” said Berry. “Give her one instead, and tell her you’ve hidden the rest in the bathroom and that, when she touches the towel-rail, she’s warm.”
    “As a matter of fact,” said Jill uneasily, “it’s all over. I’ve done it.”
    There was a dreadful silence. Then —
    “Tell us the worst,” said I, “and get it over.”
    “I’m – I’m afraid I gave her rather a lot, but she had a nice face.”
    “She had a nice step,” said Berry. “I noticed that about five this morning.”
    “How much?” said I relentlessly.
    Jill looked round guiltily.
    “I gave her fifty,” she said.
    There was a shriek of laughter.
    “Did she faint?” said Berry. “Or try to eat grass, or anything?”
    Gravely Jill shook her head.
    “She talked a great deal – very fast. I couldn’t follow her. And then she turned away and began to cry. I was so glad I’d done it.”
    “So are we all,” said Daphne.
    She was supported heartily.
    Jonah looked at his watch.
    “I suggest,” he said, “that we start at eleven, then we shall fetch up in time to see the cathedral.”
    “How far is Tours?” said Daphne.
    “Eighty-six miles.”
    “Let’s keep together today,” said Jill. “It’s much more fun.”
    Her brother shook his head.
    “I don’t want,” he said, “to be arrested for loitering.”
    “Don’t you worry,” said Berry. “We wouldn’t be seen with you.”
    Jonah sighed.
    “Where there’s a will there’s a way,” he murmured.
    “More,” said Berry. “We regard you rather less than the dust beneath our detachable wheels. You pollute the road with your hoghood. I suppose it’s no use asking you to keep behind us.”
    “None whatever,” replied our cousin. “Why should we?”
    “Well,” said Berry, “supposing a tyre discovers that I’m driving and bursts with pride, who’s going to change the wheel?”
    Jonah stifled a yawn.
    “You can’t have it both ways,” he said. “If we’re to warn people not to shoot at you, we must be in front.”
    Berry regarded his fingernails.
    “Perhaps you’re right,” he said. “Think of me when you get your third puncture, won’t you? And remember that my heart goes out to you in your tyre trouble and that you have all my love. Then you won’t sweat so much.”
    Half an hour later Pong stormed out of the garage and into the Place des Epars .
    Adèle’s wish had been granted, and she was travelling with Berry and me instead of with Jonah.
    For this new order of battle Nobby was solely responsible. Upon the first day’s journey the terrier had whined all the way to Rouen because he had wanted to be with me. As one of his audience, Jonah had been offensively outspoken regarding this predilection. Upon the following day the dog’s desire had been gratified, whereupon he had whined all the way to Chartres because he was apart from Adèle. Commenting upon this unsuspected devotion, Berry had been quite as outspoken as Jonah, and much more offensive. Naturally, to withstand such importunity was out of the question, and, since it was impossible for me to leave Berry, the line of least resistance was followed, and Daphne and Adèle changed places.
    Our way out of Chartres was short and simple, and, with the exception of temporarily obstructing two trams by the artless expedient of remaining motionless