Jill Read Online Free

Jill
Book: Jill Read Online Free
Author: Philip Larkin
Tags: FIC019000
Pages:
Go to
you— no , thank you—I——”
    He could not explain that he had thrown his own lunch out of the lavatory window, and she continued to hold the bag out, shaking it determinedly:
    “Go on, my boy … plenty … you’ll be hungry …”
    She wore a cream blouse under her beige travelling-coat and a steel brooch set in the collar. As John continued to show by signs and words that it was very kind of her, but he really wouldn’t, she withdrew the sandwiches and unsnapped her handbag.
    “You’re not feeling ill, are you?” One chubby hand fumbled inside the bag, among letters, keys, a lavender-scented handkerchief and a bottle of tablets. “I have some smelling-salts, if you’ve a headache … lie down.…”
    But by this time he had taken a sandwich, for anything would be better than being dabbed with eau-de-Cologne, or made to sit by an open window. The beautiful girl was staring at him amusedly as she licked the tips of her fingers, and even the clergyman, paring a russet apple with a silver penknife, paused to gaze at him cheerfully. In the end he was forced to accept not only three sandwiches from the ladies, but a piece of cake from the girl and a quarter of the clergyman’s apple. He kept his eyes fixed on the dirty floor as he chewed, utterly humiliated.
    So now, four hours later, he was hungry, but so near the end of the journey his restlessness prevented him from wanting to eat. And as if the train knew his destination was near it seemed to quicken speed, plunging on with a regular pattern of beats. He looked from the window and saw a man with a gun entering a field, two horses by a gate, and presently the railway line was joined by a canal, and rows of houses appeared. He got to his feet and stared at the approaching city across allotments, back-gardens and piles of coal covered with fallen leaves. Red brick walls glowed with a dull warmth that he would have admired at another time. Now he was too nervous. The train clattered by iron bridges, cabbages and a factory painted with huge white letters he did not bother to read; smoke dirtied the sky; the train swung violently over set after set of points. Asignal-box. Their speed seemed to increase, as they swept towards the station round a long curve of line through much rolling-stock, among which John noticed a wagon from near his home. Then the eaves of the platform, hollow shouting, the faces slowing down as he dragged down his heavy suitcase from the rack, the shuddering halt and escape of steam.
    “Oxford,” cried a porter, “Oxford,” walking the length of the platform because all the nameplates had been removed in time of war. John got out.
    He did not hurry through the ticket barrier, and when he walked out of the station all the taxis had been taken. He stood on the pavement, not sorry to be delayed a little, for he was coming to reside at the University for the first time and was so afraid that even now, if he had had the chance, he would have turned and fled back into his previous life. The fact that he had worked for years for this moment made no difference: if he could not run back home, he at least would prefer to loiter about, getting nearer by degrees only to the college on whose books he was enrolled as a scholar.
    During this last hesitation he stared down towards the town, aware that behind him a young man was arguing with a porter about a lost bag of golf-clubs. What he could see did not look very remarkable; there were hoardings advertising beans and the ATS, people pushing towards a red bus, a glazed-brick public-house. A pony and cart creaked down the road, the man holding the slack reins, a bowed figure in the faint dusk. John looked about for colleges and old buildings, but could only see distantly a spire or two, and watched a woman buying some sprouts at a greengrocer’s fifty yards away. His bag stood beside him on the kerb.
    It was because he had crammed everything he had into that bag that it was so heavy and forced him to take
Go to

Readers choose