Jews vs Zombies Read Online Free Page A

solitary confinement (rules are rules, weird circumstances notwithstanding), a surprise awaited him in the form of a visitor: a 50-year-old woman who looked like a whore turned librarian.
    ‘My name is Rosa. Rosa Gloon,’ she said.
    His heart skipped a beat. ‘Are you related to…?’
    ‘I’m her daughter.’
    ‘Why has it taken you so long to come and see me?’
    ‘I have been living in Paris for 20 years now. I had no idea. I got here two days ago and went to pay my mother’s grave a visit, when… I saw that her tombstone was sprayed in some phosphorescent green. I didn’t know what it meant until a certain lady explained to me that my mother’s stone is marked since she was of the formerly dead.’
    Solvi bit his tongue. ‘Your mother has just returned? Was there another second coming?’
    ‘No. I don’t know how I’ve never heard of what happened a little bit over a decade ago, you know, when the dead were resurrected by those crazy scientists. As far as I know, it only happened once. Anyway, my mother was one of them, which means that the woman you killed had already been dead when you hit her.’
    Solvi didn’t correct her. Evidently she hadn’t heard of the factory. He didn’t even mention the bizarre realisation that both he and his ‘victim’ had returned to this world at the same time. But, despite his sudden surge of happiness, there was something wrong with her story. ‘But if your mother had already been dead…?’
    ‘She forgot.’
    ‘Excuse me?’
    ‘My mother was an extremely senile woman. It turns out that when she came back from the dead, she didn’t give it much thought. She just wandered the streets looking for her home until she found it. Luckily for her I hadn’t managed to sell it because it’s a tiny place in the middle of nowhere. Anyway, she did remember she used to keep the key under the rug and got in as if she hadn’t just returned from the dead.’
    ‘You’re telling me your mother forgot she was dead?’
    ‘Yes. And so, when she was run over several years later by you, she actually died I came here to let you know that –’
    ‘Hang on a minute. Didn’t anyone contact you after she was run over?’
    ‘They weren’t able to track me down. I got married and changed my name. Now I’m divorced and – anyway, that’s beside the point. I came here to tell you that since, according to the law of the living, one can’t be held guilty for a crime committed against a dead person, you are to be released effective immediately.’
    Solvi stared at her in disbelief. ‘But there’s one thing I don’t understand. If your mother had already been dead when she was run over, then how was anyone held responsible for the accident? I mean, there was no body to begin with. She probably got up and went back home, slightly shaken up but still alive. So to speak.’
    Now it was Rosa’s turn to stare at him in disbelief. ‘Oh, but she didn’t. She died. And she was buried again, although at a different spot, which means she has two tombstones. Funnily enough, no one bothered to check...’
    ‘She died?’
    ‘Yes.’
    ’For good?’
    ‘For good.’
    Solvi didn’t look back. Upon leaving prison he realized that Marketa had probably been the first among the formerly dead to regain death once again, yet her second demise had been a secret of sorts since no one but her daughter had known about her first death.
    He went to the cemetery and looked for Marketa’s stone. He wanted to address it but felt like a fool, contemplating his life ever since he arose. He spent ten minutes in front of the silent grave and wondered about Marketa’s first death. Then he went back home. The following Monday he wandered to the forest and saw Yehoshua pouring gasoline all over himself.
    Yehoshua called, ‘Well, if it isn’t…’
    Solvi wanted to let him know about the new promise when Yehoshua opened his eyes in shock and pointed behind Solvi, shouting, ‘Watch out!’
    Solvi looked