Jane Eyre Read Online Free

the servants were ailing. For herself and the children she employed a physician.
    “Well, who am I?” he asked.
    I pronounced his name, offering him at the same time my hand, he took it, smiling and saying, “We shall do very well by-and-by.” Then he laid me down, and addressing Bessie, charged her to be very careful that I was not disturbed during the night. Having given some further directions, and intimates that he should call again the next day, he departed. To my grief, I felt so sheltered and befriended while he sat in the chair near my pillow and as he closed the door after him, all the room darkened and my heart again sank. Inexpressible sadness weighed it down.
    “Do you feel as if you should sleep, Miss?” asked Bessie, rather softly.
    Scarcely dared I answer her, for I feared the next sentence might be rough. “I will try.”
    “Would you like to drink, or could you eat anything?”
    “No, thank you, Bessie.”
    “Then I think I shall go to bed, for it is past twelve o’clock, but you may call me if you want anything in the night.”
    Wonderful civility this! It emboldened me to ask a question.
    “Bessie, what is the matter with me? Am I ill?”
    “You fell sick, I suppose, in the red room with crying. You’ll be better soon, no doubt.”
    Bessie went into the housemaid’s apartment, which was near. I heard her say, “Sarah, come and sleep with me in the nursery. I daren’t for my life be alone with that poor child to-night, she might die. It’s such a strange thing she should have that fit, I wonder if she saw anything. Missis was rather too hard.”
    Sarah came back with her. They both went to bed; they were whispering together for half-an-hour before they fell asleep. I caught scraps of their conversation, from which I was able only too distinctly to infer the main subject discussed.
    “Something passed her, all dressed in white, and vanished”—“A great black dog behind him”—“Three loud raps on the chamber door”—“A light in the churchyard just over his grave,” etcetera.
    At last both slept, the fire and the candle went out. For me, the watches of that long night passed in ghastly wakefulness, strained by dread, such dread as children only can feel.
    No severe or prolonged bodily illness followed this incident of the red room, it only gave my nerves a shock of which I feel the reverberation to this day. Yes, Mrs Reed, to you I owe some fearful pangs of mental suffering, but I ought to forgive you, for you knew not what you did, while rending my heart-strings, you thought you were only uprooting my bad propensities.
    Next day, by noon, I was up and dressed, and sat wrapped in a shawl by the nursery hearth. I felt physically weak and broken down, but my worse ailment was an unutterable wretchedness of mind, a wretchedness which kept drawing from me silent tears. No sooner had I wiped one salt drop from my cheek than another followed. Yet, I thought, I ought to have been happy, for none of the Reeds were there, they were all gone out in the carriage with their Mama. Abbot, too, was sewing in another room, and Bessie, as she moved hither and thither, putting away toys and arranging drawers, addressed to me every now and then a word of unwonted kindness. This state of things should have been to me a paradise of peace, accustomed as I was to a life of ceaseless reprimand and thankless fagging, but in fact, my racked nerves were now in such a state that no calm could soothe, and no pleasure excite them agreeably.
    Bessie had been down into the kitchen, and she brought up with her a tart on a certain brightly painted china plate, whose bird of paradise, nestling in a wreath of convolvuli and rosebuds, had been wont to stir in me a most enthusiastic sense of admiration; and which plate I had often petitioned to be allowed to take in my hand in order to examine it more closely, but had always hitherto been deemed unworthy of such a privilege. This precious vessel was now placed on my