Ishmael and the Hoops of Steel Read Online Free Page B

classrooms. That’s the students’ job.
    Just joking. All I’m saying is, you could tell Mr Guthrie lived there because every centimetre of wall and noticeboard space was plastered with posters and articles covering every issue, concern and injustice known to humankind. There was stuff on climate change, recycling, homelessness, refugees, anti-whaling, political prisoners, deforestation, binge drinking, pollution, poverty, nuclear waste, third world debt, child labour, endangered species, carbon footprints, renewable energy, land rights, women’s rights, gay rights, workers’ rights and animal rights. Then on the
next
wall there was … Well, you get the picture.
    Our sports master, Mr Hardcastle, liked to call Mr Guthrie ‘St Daniel’s resident tree-hugging hippy’. That’s when he wasn’t calling him ‘Mr Cheesecloth’ or ‘Mr Tie-dye’. Brother Jerome’s description was better. He said Mr Guthrie was ‘St Daniel’s Patron Saint of Lost Causes’. It seemed just about everyone had their own name for Mr Guthrie. In Year Nine Razz and I nicknamed him ‘Pele’ after he scored a truly freaky winning goal for the Charlton Chiefs in the big inter-housesoccer competition. Then we found out later that most of the other teachers called him ‘Woody’. I thought it was because he wore a bracelet with wooden beads on it. But one day I heard Dad talking about some famous old singer called Woody Guthrie, so I figured that’s where the name came from.
    Mr Guthrie did actually have a proper name. It was Emerson. Emerson Guthrie. Not exactly catchy. But I guess it was different; a bit like Mr Guthrie himself. With his mop of short, springy dreadlocks and his wispy beard he looked like a tall, thin, elf. And then there were his clothes. Mr Guthrie wasn’t really into designer labels unless they turned up in op shops or they were marked
Fair Trade.
    It was in Mr Guthrie’s Homeroom that I finally got to find out what Razz’s solution to my ‘chick-drooling’ prayers actually was. It began with him sliding into the seat beside me and grinning madly.
    â€˜Ishmael, my man. Awesome news! It’s all done and dusted, dude.’
    â€˜What’s all done and dusted?’
    â€˜The thing we talked about at your house.’
    â€˜Oh right, that would be the “answer to all my chick-drooling prayers”.’
    â€˜That’s it!’ Razz said, thumping the desk and causing Mr Guthrie look up from the roll book and frown.
    â€˜Well, what is it, Razz? What is the answer to all my chick-drooling prayers?’
    A crazy look took over Razza’s eyes. It was the same crazy look that usually appeared just before even crazier words began exploding out of his crazy mouth. I prepared myself for the worst. He leant closer and spread his hands like he was making a rabbit appear from a hat.
    â€˜Cindy Sexton!’ he said with a grin that would have frightened off a pack of hungry sharks.
    I stared a while at the maniacal face with the beaming eyes hovering in front of me.
    â€˜Razz, I don’t think my parents would approve of me hooking up with a porn star.’
    Razz jerked back and pointed an accusing finger at me.
    â€˜Hey, that’s my
cousin
you’re talking about!’
    â€˜Your
cousin
?
    â€˜Yeah, and you better not let Uncle Henry and Auntie Carla hear you say stuff like that about their daughter.’
    â€˜So you want me to hook up with one of your
cousins
? Is
that
what you’re saying?’
    Razz nodded enthusiastically.
    â€˜One of your relatives?’
    He nodded again.
    â€˜Someone related by birth … to you?’
    He stopped nodding.
    â€˜Dude, is your brain still in holiday hibernation mode or something?
Yes
, she’s my cousin, OK? Her family’s moving up here from down south in a few weeks. I didn’t want to tell you until it was definite, but now