Ishmael and the Hoops of Steel Read Online Free Page A

we’d scored Mr Guthrie as our Homeroom teacher.
    â€˜Hope you’re not too disappointed with your new class, boys.’
    We spun round to see Miss Tarango standing in a patch of sunlight. Her short jaggy blonde hair was glowing and her teeth and her eyes looked backlit. If it was a movie you’d swear someone had gone a bit overboard with the airbrush and special effects. She looked like she’d swallowed summer.
    â€˜Nah, it’s awesome, Miss!’ Razz said. ‘We’re all in the same Homeroom. What are the chances of that?’
    Prindabel’s face lit up.
    â€˜Well, if you wanted to calculate the exact probability, you’d have to consider that there are four separate class groups so therefore the chances of any one of us being in a particular group is one in four, but then because there are five of us you’d have to multiply the …’
    Ignatius found Razz’s hand wrapped around his mouth. ‘Don’t worry about him, miss. Some of his sound cards are playing up.’
    Miss Tarango laughed. Then she stepped a little closer. She looked like summer but she smelt like spring. Dangling from her lobes were gold earrings in the shape of tiny books.
    â€˜Well, just between you and me, boys,
chance
didn’t play much of a role. You see, the Senior Coordinator gets to draw up the class lists – in consultation with her colleagues of course – and I thought it made perfect sense for me to keep my Year Eleven debating team together. Easier to arrange meetings and maybe use some Homeroom or English time for last-minute preparation.’
    â€˜Brilliant, miss, thanks,’ Scobie said. ‘That’ll be a big help. We seem to have a bit of trouble getting everyone together.
Some
of us are a little unreliable.’
    â€˜Hey, what are you looking at me for?’ Razz said. Thenhis forehead creased into a frown and he looked back at Miss Tarango. ‘But miss, if you made up all the lists, how come you didn’t put us in your English class?’
    â€˜Well, Orazio, tempted as I was, I thought it might be prudent to wait a while before totally abusing my newfound power and getting the other English teachers off side by hogging all the star pupils.’
    Razz nodded in agreement. ‘Yeah, I get it, miss. I guess they were all hoping to score me in their English class, hey? Even if it meant putting up with the rest of these losers.’
    Miss Tarango smiled sweetly. ‘No comment, Orazio.’
    â€˜I understand, miss – don’t want to hurt these guys’ feelings, right?’
    Scobie gave an exaggerated clearing of his throat then twisted his mouth to one side and back again. ‘Congratulations on the year level coordinator appointment, miss.’
    â€˜Thank you, James. I think they thought I was the only one mad enough to take it on. It’s a big responsibility, especially following a St Daniel’s legend like Mr Carver. And I’ve taken over his old position of Charlton House Patron as well.’
    â€˜Charlton House Patron? You’ll be awesome, miss, but you’d better practise up on your
There’s no shame in coming last
speeches.’
    â€˜Well, I’m hoping to turn that around, Orazio, so I’ll be really relying on you guys to help me out, OK?’
    We all nodded eagerly. Hell, we’d coat ourselves in honey and dance in front of a pack of bears if Miss Tarango asked us to.
    â€˜Great. Thanks, boys. I knew I could count on the Fab Five to watch my back.’
    Then Miss Tarango flashed some bright orange fingernails at us in a quick wave before twirling round and walking briskly back up the path.
    We were watching her back already.
    Well, sort of.

5.

UNCLE WHAT’S-HIS-FACE AND AUNTIE THINGO’S DAUGHTER
    There was no way you could mistake our new Homeroom. It had Mr Guthrie written all over it. Not literally, of course. Teachers weren’t allowed to write all over