International Kittens of Mystery Read Online Free Page B

choke.
    For a full ninety minutes I was the very model of an ardent suitor. I danced, I mingled, I pursued. And, in between the dancing, mingling and pursuing, I talked – at length – recounting the adventures of my good friend Horace Hildebrand Haversham of the Hampshire Havershams, breathily stressing the aitches with such gusto that even a well-exercised fan couldn’t waft the foul air away. Two minutes of Horace Haversham and even the most polite young lady found a pressing reason to visit the far side of the room.
    This garlic was a deb repellent of the first order!
    That is, until it came up against Miss Emmeline Dreadnought. I’d assumed her a retiring wallflower kind of girl. Tall and willowy, she rarely danced and spent most of the evening hiding within large groups, keeping her eyes downcast and barely uttering a word. But one whiff of Horace Haversham and she changed.
    â€œYour breath smells,” she said as we waltzed around the dance floor.
    â€œDoes it?” I replied. “I hadn’t noticed.”
    â€œIt does. Do you eat a lot of garlic?”
    â€œAll the time. You can never have too much garlic is my motto. I have it with herring, halibut, haddock....” I ran out of aitches.
    â€œHake?” suggested Miss Dreadnought.
    â€œOf course hake. That goes without saying.” I was about to launch into a further list of aitches when I was struck by the positive lack of meats and vegetables beginning with aitch. Fish: they were legion. But other comestibles – not a sausage.
    â€œMaybe with a haunch of venison?” said Miss Dreadnought. “Or with ham and a Hollandaise sauce?”
    I was taken aback. This tall willowy wisp of a girl had broken the Worcester code! I examined her closer, expecting a smile or a smirk but finding neither. If anything, she had a wan, distant look, as though haunted by some great inner sadness.
    Could garlic vapours do that to a girl?
    â€œAdmonish me if I intrude, Miss Dreadnought, but ... is something the matter?”
    She looked up, our eyes meeting for the first time.
    â€œI think Amelia Runcible has been kidnapped.”
    o0o
    To read the rest of the story, you'll have to buy the book. But it's only $2.99

Other Books by Chris Dolley
What Ho, Automaton! — $2.99
    Wodehouse Steampunk! Reggie Worcester and Reeves, his gentleman’s personal gentle-automaton, are consulting detectives in an alternative 1903 where an augmented Queen Victoria is still on the throne and automata are a common sight below stairs. Humour, Mystery, Aunts and Zeppelins!
    â€œA fun blend of P.G. Wodehouse, steampunk and a touch of Sherlock Holmes. Dolley is a master at capturing and blending all these elements. More than fascinating, this work is also rip-roaring fun! But where Dolley really excels is in capturing the atmosphere and humor of the Bertie and Jeeves stories. Any Wodehouse fan will want to grab a copy of this work, but even if you have never explored that world, What Ho, Automaton! is a fun and fascinating read. Highly recommended, take a spin in this steampunk hybrid and enjoy the ride!” - SFRevu
    â€œI found myself laughing out loud at Reggie and the fabulous Reeves as they romped their way through various adventures. A homage to Wodehouse without being sycophantic, this is fantastic.” - Sueo23
    â€œI enjoyed every page of this book. A steampunk novel that combines classic British Humor, tongue-in-cheek references to Sherlock Holmes and a cast of great characters. I don’t think I’ve actually laughed out loud this much while reading a book in a very long time.” - ErisAerie
    â€œDolley has managed to capture Wodehouse’s style, rhythm, and sense of humor almost perfectly ... it is just so much fun, and the author’s exploration of this alternative England, full of robots and polite Frankenstineian constructs, adds an absurd depth not found in its inspiration.” - Magus