Instead of You Read Online Free

us, told me he loved me.  He said he’d always loved me.  And while I’d always loved him too, it’d been my best friend I’d loved, not my boyfriend.
       When I couldn’t say it back, when I wasn’t even sure I’d ever be able to say it back, he simply reached across the table, took my hand in his, and told me he’d wait forever—that he knew I’d come around.  He’d been waiting almost a year to hear me say those words, and I still wasn’t ready.
       There were nights I’d lie awake and think about him, think about us, and wonder if I was being fair to him by staying with him, but caring too much about someone seemed like a terrible reason to end a relationship.  Because I did care about Cory, so much, but I worried it wasn’t the same way he cared about me.  I also worried that even though he said I’d come around in time, I never would.
       All these heavy thoughts seemed to float away like vapor when he kissed me though.  When his hands drifted over my body my mind shut down and I didn’t think about anything except the way he made my body feel.  Tonight was no exception.
       My nightgown was a very thin divider between us and offered no buffer to the way his hands were roaming over my breasts, the way he tentatively palmed me through the cotton, gently squeezing.  I gasped, my mouth breaking free from his, and my back arched off the bed.  I wanted more friction, wanted him to not be so tender with me, but a tiny voice in the back of my mind told me that was slutty, made me feel dirty in some way for wanting those things.  It was hard to wrap my mind around, especially when Cory’s hands were on me, doing things to me that made me feel good.  I just always seemed to want it to be… more… in some way. 
       His hands left my breasts, sliding down, and he sat up a little when they reached my hips.  His fingertips started slowly bunching up the material of my nightgown, pulling it up to my waist.  His eyes were locked on mine, silently and respectfully asking permission.  I gave him a slight nod, wanting to feel my body on fire again, and my breath hitched as I watched him pull my nightgown all the way up, then over my head, revealing me to him for the first time ever.
       I was trapped in a weird moment where I desperately wanted to watch his face, to see his reaction the first time he saw me nearly naked, but I also felt more than a little embarrassed and fought the urge to cover myself.  Cory, the boy who’d pulled my pigtails in kindergarten, who’d seen me throw up in the bushes during our families’ annual camping trip, was looking at me topless.  My best friend was looking at me as though I were the most beautiful thing he’d ever seen, and I had to remind myself that he was my boyfriend, that I should be excited that he wanted to see me naked, not embarrassed. 
       However, much like all our previous encounters of the physical nature, my thoughts ceased when his hands came to my skin.  When the warmth of his skin slid over me, my eyes closed and I was no longer looking at my best friend, I was only feeling.  His fingers slid up my skin and I nearly cried out, the tension in my nipple surprising me.  They were tight and hard, practically aching, and I needed something to take away the ache.
       Never in my wildest dreams did I expect to feel Cory’s warm tongue circle one of them.  We’d never been this intimate with each other and I didn’t think he’d be that bold, but I was obviously mistaken.  A low moan left me as his mouth closed over my nipple, one of his hands palming my other breast.  He sucked me further into his mouth and tingles shot throughout my body while warmth flooded between my legs.
       I was moaning and squirming beneath him, trying to deal with all the new and powerful feelings, but also trying to keep somewhat of a level head.  We’d never gone this far before, but I knew I didn’t want to go any farther.  One step at a