Inside the Mind of Gideon Rayburn Read Online Free Page B

back in a joyous whoop. "On ail of us."
    "He's so not going to win this year." Cullen buzzes with energy, walking around the room, picking up and putting down CD cases, running his hands through his hair, which, Gid notes, is blond and both angelically curly and thick enough to be virile. Gid finds himself going down a bad road, worrying that he is not as handsome as Cullen. And maybe he's not, but he's certainly handsome, if less brazenly so. And his eyes have a lot more kindness, a lot more soul than Cullen's. Maybe some girls are more into perfect abs than soul, but not me.
    Cullen bounds over to the door and looks through the peephole into the hallway. "I'm the one who has my eye on him!" He beckons to Gid. "This is a great room on account of the fact that we have our own bathroom, and no other students live on this floor. But it's also a bad room because Captain Cockweed's apartment has an entrance up here. Look."
    Indeed, there is the man himself, kneeling down, his head angled toward the ground so that Gid is looking right at his scalp. He holds what appears to be a soup can over a large metal box. "That's weird," Gid says. "He looks like he's using an electric can opener."
    "Aha," says Cullen. "And he is. Those faculty apartments are free, because the teachers don't make any money. But they always have something major wrong with them. And the Cockweed-Cavanaughs have an electricity problem. We joke about it. Not a lot to talk about on campus, and I mean, look at that. It's pretty funny."
    Gideon thinks, Electricity situation.
    "So," Cullen continues, "you will often see them in the hallway using a blender or electric paper shredder or so on. Wait 'til you see Mrs. Cavanaugh out there with her vibrator!"
    Gideon's eyes widen.
    Cullen claps him on the shoulder. "Joking, my friend." Guys and vibrator jokes. A love that never ends. Cullen looks through the peephole again. "He's gone now. They have a son, Tim, who will be in juvie by the time we're in college. And sort of a cute daughter, Erin. I feel a little sorry for her."
    "Really?" The mention of a girl makes Gid excited. "Have you fooled around with her?"
    "She's six, dude. Maybe someday. Although she does have some rather attractive babysitters. This girl Fiona that I kind of would like to score with. I was gentleman enough to keep my hands off her last year since she was fourteen.... She takes care of Erin sometimes." Cullen gestures at the Vaportech, now loaded up and ready to go.
    He lights it.
    Gid smokes. "You're a natural," Cullen says.
    Gideon wonders, Is Cullen joking? Did you only call someone who really was not a natural a natural, because if they really were a natural, wouldn't they know it, and not have to hear it from you? To point out the naturalness of something, didn't that really call attention to its very unnaturalness? That word natural really undid him. He's got to remember: He's fucked up. Nothing matters.
    "Hey," Gid says, taking a chance, "do you ever think that chicks babysit as a way of trying to say, 'Hey, guys, look, I'm good with kids'?"
    Anyone can see this is an unbelievably brilliant insight. Just a second ago, when Cullen called Gid a natural, he was, in fact (I can't read Cullen's mind, of course, but I am almost certain), being a little patronizing. But now Cullen's face lights up. "Oh my God, I never thought of that. I was wondering why Fiona babysat, I mean. The chick's seriously loaded. Even for here. And that she babysits for Cockweed, in this dorm, of all places. Hmm. Now I'm sure she wanted me. Thanks, man."
    Cullen stops pacing and squats on his heels, on the floor, dangling his head in his hands. Gid imagines that Cullen might be quite at home in the jungle, a nice jungle, with pillows and refrigerators. Cullen springs up off the floor and hangs off the pull-up bar with one arm. "Did you see there are a lot of good-looking freshmen? A lot of foreign students, which seems great because they're often hot, but which is not so