Incarnadine Read Online Free Page B

smooth as his jaw—
    And when I learned that he was not a man—
    bullwhip, horsewhip, unzip, I could have crawled
    through thorn and bee, the thick of hive, rosehip,
    courtship, lordship, gossip and lavender.
    (But I was quiet, quiet as
    eagerness—that astonished, dutiful fall.)

Annunciation Overheard from the Kitchen
    I could hear them from the kitchen, speaking as if
    something important had happened.
    I was washing the pears in cool water, cutting
    the bruises from them.
    From my place at the sink, I could hear
    a jet buzz hazily overhead, a vacuum
    start up next door, the click,
    click between shots.
    “Mary, step back from the camera.”
    There was a softness to his voice
    but no fondness, no hurry in it.
    There were faint sounds
    like walnuts being dropped by crows onto the street,
    almost a brush
    of windchime from the porch—
    Windows around me everywhere half-open—
    My skin alive with the pitch.

Night Shifts at the Group Home
    for Lily Mae
    The job was easy: I tucked
    them in, kicked off my shoes, listened for
    the floor to go quiet. Everyone
    slept except one: outside her door,
    she paced, she hummed, holding
    the edge of her torn
    nightgown. Pointing, I told
    her: to bed. Your bed. But she would not
    stay there. She was old,
    older than my mother: manic, caught
    up in gibberish, determined to
    sleep on my cot—
    At first it was just to
    quiet her. I could only sleep
    if she slept, and I needed relief
    from myself. That is how she
    became a body next to mine
    whether or not I wanted there to be
    a body. She climbed
    into my bed. I let her
    sleep hot and damp against my spine.
    All night she rocked, she turned,
    she poked her spastic elbows
    into my calves and slurred
    her broken noises in the dark. All the old
    fans went round in clicks
    those summer nights—and she rolled
    in bed and kicked
    me in the head and I was
    happy. No words, no tricks,
    I just didn’t love
    my loneliness. My mind
    felt cooler
    with her there. Beside
    her, I could have been anyone.
    She had no word for me and not the kind
    of mind to keep one.
    And if she kicked
    me, some nights, just
    for the fun of it—who was I
    to disappoint my one?
    Sometimes I imagine I
    was someone she won
    at a fair as the wheel spun
    under the floating, unfaltering sun
    and clicked each lucky one
    and one
    until I was happily undone.

Happy Ideas
    I had the happy idea to fasten a bicycle wheel to a kitchen stool and watch it turn.
    —DUCHAMP
    I had the happy idea to suspend some blue globes in the air
    and watch them pop.
    I had the happy idea to put my little copper horse on the shelf so we could stare at each other all evening.
    I had the happy idea to create a void in myself.
    Then to call it natural.
    Then to call it supernatural.
    I had the happy idea to wrap a blue scarf around my head and spin.
    I had the happy idea that somewhere a child was being born who was nothing like Helen or Jesus except in the sense of changing everything.
    I had the happy idea that someday I would find both pleasure and punishment, that I would know them and feel them,
    and that, until I did, it would be almost as good to pretend.
    I had the happy idea to call myself happy.
    I had the happy idea that the dog digging a hole in the yard in the twilight had his nose deep in mold-life.
    I had the happy idea that what I do not understand is more real than what I do,
    and then the happier idea to buckle myself
    into two blue velvet shoes.
    I had the happy idea to polish the reflecting glass and say
    hello to my own blue soul. Hello, blue soul. Hello.
    It was my happiest idea.

Annunciation as Right Whale with Kelp Gulls
    The gulls have learned to feed on the whales…. The proportion of whales attacked annually has soared from 1% in 1974 to 78% today.
    — BBC NEWS
    I tell you I have seen them in their glee
    diving fast into the sureness of her flesh,
    fast into the softness of
    her wounds—have seen them
    peel her, have seen them give themselves
    full to the effort and