we both took a sip at the same time. It was moments like these, watching the way that her long fingers nested around the mug, that I saw just how alike we were. Of course there were the obvious similarities, with our long, nearly-black hair and mossy green eyes. But it was also in the way we sat, flinging our bodies into the couch like it had caught us mid-collapse. The unabashed and unembarrassed way we slurped our coffee. The slight little moan my mother let out once the caffeine hit her bloodstream. "Ah, that's good," she breathed. "You brought out the good stuff."
"I only drink the good stuff."
"I thought you were showing off, bringing me the nice stuff you save for guests."
"Mom, besides you and Candace, I don't have guests and Candace swore off caffeine until the baby comes. Thinks it'll give her kid a second head or something."
My mother cocked her head at me. "Oh come on now. You expect me to believe, that in the past week, you haven't had any guests besides me?"
I heaved a sigh. She had me there. "He didn't drink coffee, though," I explained.
"Didn't?" My mother caught the past tense.
"Didn't," I repeated, firmly.
"Ah, So you dumped him because he was clearly a crazy person?"
I loved the shit out of my mother. We could talk about literally everything. There were no secrets between us, even if sometimes I wished I had a normal mother. One who wasn't quite so curious about my sex life. One who was a little more easily shocked and didn't press me for details about penis-size. "No, I didn't dump him over coffee, Mom," I sighed. "I'm shallow, but not that shallow."
"Hey, you know I don't judge," she said, leaning back and tucking her feet underneath her. "I'm just living vicariously through my daughter. As for me, I'm thinking of giving up men altogether."
I snorted. "Bullshit."
"No, it's true. I've been out there in the dating world... God, how long now?"
"Dad left when I was seven."
"Shit, really?" My mother looked appalled. "Has it really been..." she counted on her fingers, "seventeen years?"
"Almost eighteen."
"Jesus," my mother wrinkled her nose, and then brightened, "Hey, I heard from him, did I tell you?"
I put down my mug to keep from spilling it across my lap. "No. You did not. What the hell did he want?"
"Oh, he was just letting me know about number five."
"Five!" I blurted. "He found someone else willing to marry him?"
My mother nodded. "Some young thing down in Texas. Probably close to your age, though I didn't really pry for too many mathematical details. He left Ginny with three kids because he knocked up this new one. Sasha's her name, I guess. I kind of feel bad for her."
I counted on my fingers. "So I'm up to...how many half brothers and sisters now?"
My mother quickly ticked off on her fingers. "Mike and Fifi, they were from the first marriage..."
"Yeah, I've met them. They're no fun whatsoever. I can't believe we're even related, no matter how distantly."
My mom grinned. "Then it was my turn to fall under Giles Bryant's spell. Luckily he gave me you. The best trade-off I ever made."
"Aw shucks, Ma."
My mom laughed. "Then came that woman in Ohio, Bitchface, I never did bother to learn her name. He stayed with her the longest and she ended up with four...maybe five brats? I don't even know."
"So that's six or seven," I counted.
My mom nodded. "Then Ginny waggled her ass in his direction at the conference in Houston and that was the end of Bitchface. Ginny actually turned out to be pretty sweet, you know. We exchanged Christmas cards last year."
"And she had three kids. So nine. Or maybe ten. With a baby on the way." I clapped my hand to my forehead. "Jesus Christ, Dad," I complained. "My family tree looks like something out of Game of Thrones, I'm going to end up fucking my half-brother someday and not even know it."
My mother laughed, spilling a droplet of coffee in her lap. "Hey now, at least Giles has the good sense to spread out his whoring all over this great country of