I Think You're Totally Wrong Read Online Free Page A

Barouh’s house.
    DAVID: This is nice.
    CALEB: He should rent it out. The ghost of Barouh is all around. I just wanted to check the gas stove. If the gas doesn’t work, we’ll go to Khamta’s.

    CALEB: Khamta’s house.
    DAVID: This isn’t our place, is it?
    CALEB: Outdoor basketball court, kids’ wading pool, hot tub. He’s got four-wheelers and a riding mower. It’s no cabin.
    DAVID: Christ, it’s gorgeous. I’m going to send a picture of it to Laurie.

    CALEB:
(playing a CD inside the house)
You’re friends with the singer.
    DAVID: Is it Rick Moody’s band?
    CALEB: Mountain Con.
    DAVID: Oh my god! James sounds great. Wow! Man! They sound terrific. It’s so cool that you looked him up.
    CALEB: I didn’t. I saw him perform about eight years ago and bought the CD. When you mentioned Mountain Con in that essay, I looked at my CD and noticed James Nugent’s name.
    DAVID: They sound great. It’s so polished. What’s the name of the song?
    CALEB: “Future Burn Out.” You didn’t recognize it? You’ve written about them.
    DAVID: I must admit I didn’t. I have the ear of a penguin.
    CALEB: You ready for some music and chess?

    CALEB: There’s a cold war going on: art vs. life. Shields vs. Powell.
    DAVID: Man, I can barely remember.
    CALEB: Are you that rusty?
    DAVID: I’ll give it a shot.
    CALEB: Ain’t like riding a bicycle.
    DAVID: I’ll try. If I get killed, so be it. This is the queen
(thump)
. Queen on color.
    CALEB: She has a necklace. These pieces
are
odd looking. It’s the chess set my dad had as a boy. The king has a beard.
    DAVID: I’ll start and go out with a bang.
    â€¢ • •
    DAVID:
(thump)
I like the idea of a little chess game where I get mad. It’d be hard to transcribe. I’m playing a little recklessly. What was my mistake? Shoot. Dumb. What am I thinking?
    CALEB:
(laughing)
That’s staying in.
    DAVID: Like Wallace when he loses at Ping-Pong. Hmm. My mistake. What an idiot. Oh my god.
    CALEB: You haven’t played chess in a while.
    DAVID: Helpless. You’re good, but this is all pretty basic stuff. I’m oblivious. Boy, I was just excited that some of the moves came back to me. This one’s over.
    â€¢ • •
    CALEB:
(setting up the pieces)
I can’t play chess at home, on the road, or around Terry.
    DAVID: Why not?
    CALEB: If I play, I tune out and she goes bananas. I never play chess on my computer.
    DAVID: Why not?
    They begin another game
.
    CALEB: Same as why I stopped smoking pot. I wouldn’t be able to stop. On our honeymoon, she and I were in Flores, Guatemala, and stopped off at an internet café. Terry finished her email and I told her that I wanted to finish my chess game, so she went to our hotel, about a five-minute walk away. An hour later—she’d say three hours—she comes back and I’m still playing chess.
    DAVID: Computer chess?
    CALEB: Yahoo Games.
    DAVID: Have you gotten good?
    CALEB: My game has stayed more or less the same as it was in high school. A friend and I play through email. One game lasts weeks. Anyway, from the first game I could see that you haven’t played in a while. You made an unorthodox opening.
    DAVID: I played seriously the year I had a broken leg in high school. The apex of my chess career was dreaming in chess notation.
    CALEB: Want another beer?
    DAVID: No thanks.
(thump, thump, thump)
Let’s see, I move there, you grab this guy … 
(thump)
I get confused sometimes.

    CALEB: I’d like to teach my daughters chess. Chess helps you think. You can make a lot of analogies to life. Most people think intuitively. Chess exposes this. Namely, what looks good at first glance, prima facie, might be an error. And from that you learn to question judgment. Speed chess, on the other hand, is more instinctual.
    DAVID: Obviously.
    CALEB: “Look before you leap” or “see a