I Didn't Come Here to Make Friends Read Online Free

thought it was healthy to be able to flirt in a relationship. And that she had a great body and “the best” boobs.
    I worried I may have gotten engaged to the biggest boob of all. Had I just made the biggest mistake of my life?
    On the final morning at the chalet, I woke up at 5:00 A.M. to take the train back to Zurich, so I could finally fly home. It was only a few days into our engagement and I was back to traveling without my fiancé. Of course, my flight home had been booked separately from Ben. I wasn’t allowed to be seen in public with him for the next four months, until after the finale aired. So while I flew home, Ben went skiing across the border in Italy with that other couple.
    Right before I got on the train I had to take off my engagement ring and hand it over. To make sure the show’s finale remained top secret, I couldn’t be spotted wearing it. “I’ll just wear it because it’ll be safer that way,” the production assistant said.
    As the train pulled out of the station, I glanced over at the production assistant’s hand, and I seriously couldn’t believe my ring was on her finger. Then I stared out the window pensively at the Matterhorn. But this time, I didn’t have to try to look concerned. It was effortless.



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    BIRDS, BEES & BIRTHDAY SUITS
    M y mom warned me that men would cause me nothing but trouble and heartache. From the minute I was able to comprehend words she began lecturing my older sister Rachel and me about the evils of the opposite sex. The monologues began every night at six o’clock on the dot as we sat around the dinner table in our house in Scottsdale, Arizona.
    “Men are pigs,” she first declared to me in third grade, while sipping a glass of wine on spaghetti Sunday. “It’s all about sex or getting some.” A few years later, on taco night, I remember her philosophizing over a margarita: “Girls, always remember men are scum.” My father, in my humble opinion, was not a pig or scum. He was always home for dinner on time at Casa de Ninas, as he called it. He’d usually stay quiet during these diatribes, though occasionally he might throw in “it’s pretty much true” or “there is some truth to that.”
    My mom had pretty good reasons not to trust men. Her own father disappeared before she was born, so she never met him. Her high school sweetheart not only was abusive, but he also got her pregnant at nineteen (introducing my older half sister, Amy). They got married, but divorced three years later. And while my dad is the sweetest guy, a total softy, it’s no secret that he was quite the ladies’ man in his younger days. In addition to being extremely handsome, outgoing, and charismatic, he lived in L.A. in the swingin’ seventies and had the good fortune of being roommates with Kurt Russell when he was starring in Disney movies like The Computer Wore Tennis Shoes . They called their dilapidated house the Goat’s Nest. Yes, Kate Hudson’s stepdad was my dad’s best friend. “We were happily single,” my dad fondly recalls. “We hosted many great parties at the Goat’s Nest. Kurt was a very fun person to hang out with.” Because my dad was kind of a chick magnet, for my entire childhood my mom was constantly worried he would have an affair. My sister and I would often overhear them fighting about it. If he came home one minute late, Mom would grill him about where he’d been and who he’d been with. My mom always said my dad’s motto was “deny, deny, deny.”
    As passionately as my mom hated men, they passionately loved her. A 5'2" beauty with big boobs, she was courted by the richest, most successful guys in town—including a famous musician and a 6'7" basketball star on the Phoenix Suns—even though she came from nothing. After her disastrous first marriage, she grew a thick skin and became notoriously intimidating. She was not easily impressed by potential suitors. My dad, who moved to Arizona and enrolled in ASU’s business school,