I Am Not a Slut: Slut-Shaming in the Age of the Internet Read Online Free Page A

even slut-reclaiming, calling a girl or a woman a slut reinforces sexist norms. “Slut” is best regarded as a toxic four-letter word that should be quarantined if not buried.
    The “Good Slut”/“Bad Slut” Contradiction
    Adolescent girls and college-age women face a profound sexual contradiction. On the one hand, many want to embrace a sex-positive identity as a “good slut” who is free to be sexual on her own terms without judgment. On the other hand, many emphatically do not want to be labeled by others as a slut, because except when used within a tightly contained peer group, the label “slut” indicates that the subject is disgusting and shameful. When someone outside the in-group labels a female a slut, the word becomes evacuated of its positive associations and is left as a container of harsh judgment.
    Is it possible to be a “good slut”? Many adolescent girls and college-age women optimistically, naively, say yes. But once they see how “slut” becomes adapted to the presumptions of the sexual double standard—the belief that malescan and should be more sexual than females, and therefore that females who are sexually active in ways similar to men are deviant—they come to recognize that the “good slut” identity is ephemeral and tenuous. Ultimately, embracing a “good slut” identity does not serve them well. “Slut” is not an effective or wise organizing principle for expression of sexual freedom, because, as I will demonstrate, this identity makes females unsafe.
    This outcome does not mean that females should avoid sexual expression. We should be comfortable with our sexual bodies and sexual desire, and we should be able to express our sexuality in a developmentally and situationally appropriate manner. But we need to rethink our methods and strategies.
    I asked two women, Katie Cappiello and Meg McInerney, who work intensively with teenage girls if it was possible for a young woman to assert her sexuality in a developmentally appropriate and empowering way and not be called a slut. They paused for a few beats, unsure. Cappiello is the artistic director and McInerney is the managing director of the Arts Effect, a theater company in New York City for teenagers, which they cofounded. The All-Girl Theater Company, one of the Arts Effect’s programs, gives girls leadership tools to initiate social change in their high schools.
    “I don’t know,” McInerney finally responded. “I want it to be possible, more than anything, but I don’t know that it is actually possible. If they express their sexuality, every day they have to worry about the consequences. They can’t not worry.” Cappiello agrees. “The answer is: I don’t think so. The only girls we know who are protected from the label are the ones who have never kissed a boy, never wear anything tight, neverparty, never hook up. Yes, they are protected, but they’re also being ignored. They cry about the fact that guys don’t know they’re alive.” There’s seemingly no middle ground here: if a young woman does not erase or hide her sexuality, she is at risk of being labeled a slut.
    “Slut” is a product of the sexual double standard—the mind-set that males are expected to be sexually active, even in an uncontrolled manner, while females are supposed to police themselves (and other females) to remain minimally sexual. The sexual double standard creates physical and emotional danger for females. Only girls, not boys, are mistreated for being allegedly “too” sexual within a heterosexual context. Yet many people, female and male alike, regard girls and women through a sexual lens. Whether females are sexually active or not, we are seen as beings with sexual potential. Just walking, speaking, and breathing put us at risk for being judged to be “too” sexual.
    For at least the last two and a half centuries, white women have been expected to be sexually chaste or monogamous; therefore, their “bad” sluttiness is