her mouth has had something far dirtier in it ... But the weirdest thing of all? When I look at her, I can’t help it: I feel envious.
I know, I know.
It’s totally fucking sick of me to wish that it’d been me with Colt in his room that afternoon.
But I just can’t help it.
It’s like he’s infected my freaking brain.
I shoot an envious glance over at Kelly: at her curvy body, her big tits, her toned tanned thighs. Of course Colt would go for someone like her. She looks like a real woman . But me? I’m still just like a scrawny little kid with tangled brown hair, skinny legs, and such small bumps on my chest you could hardly even call them breasts – more like bee stings.
I turn away to face the wall of the locker room as I pull up my gym socks, mainly to hide the blush that’s rushing to my cheeks as I think all over again about the dirty way Colt talked to Kelly.
Those things he said ...
Those things he told her to do ...
I can feel my panties getting wet all over again, and I fucking hate him for it.
§
Despite how much I’m dreading it, family dinner isn’t quite as weird as I was expecting to be. I mean, it’s the first time I’ve seen Colt since you-know-what, and so I can’t fight the giant blush that rises to my cheeks as soon as I set eyes on him, but to my surprise, he’s actually acting really normal with me – none of his usual arrogant attitude. He’s even kind of, well ... nice .
“Stacey, would you mind passing the potatoes?” he asks, in a totally normal tone, and when I do, my hand shaking only a little bit, he just smiles and says, “Thank you,” almost as if the crazy events of yesterday were just all in my imagination.
Maybe I did imagine it.
Christ, I hope so ...
And instead of the dinner from hell that I was dreading, it actually turns out kind of okay. Maybe this is what it’s supposed to be like – what I was imagining it might be like when my mom first told me about her engagement; you know, normal family life. But then, just as we’re all finishing up desert, Colt taps on the side of his water glass with the end of his spoon and everyone turns to look at him in surprise.
“I’ve got an announcement to make,” he says in an oddly serious tone, looking at each of us around the table in turn. “I’ve made a decision about where I want to live and study after I finish high school ...”
I shoot a glance at Mom and Alexander, wondering if they already know something about this, but from the puzzled looks on both their faces, I’m guessing its as much of a surprise for them as it is for me.
“I’ve decided,” he continues, slowly and deliberately, “that this summer I’m going to enroll on the European Summer Study program, and after that I’ll be applying to British universities in the Fall.”
The words hit me like a bomb.
Europe. British Universities. The other side of the fucking world ...
It’s everything I can do just to keep it together – to not let my face show that this news has hit me harder than I ever thought it would.
I mean, it’s totally crazy to feel this way. I know that more than anyone. If you’d asked me how I’d react, I would have said I’d be jumping for joy about the idea of Colt Grayson moving to a whole other Continent. But now it’s actually happened? Now he’s announced it, right here at this dinner table?
Well, I guess I don’t quite know how to feel.
I have to admit it to myself; crazy as it is, I’ve developed feelings for him – for this arrogant asshole who’s just smashed my heart into a thousand tiny pieces without even knowing.
“Happy birthday, sweetheart!” Mom says, smiling out from my computer screen, waving happily. I watch her as she leans in and turns the laptop, so that the webcam can include Alexander in the shot, too. They’ve even got some balloons and streamers in the background like they’re having a party for a daughter who actually loves them enough to come home, and I