How to Get the Friends You Want Read Online Free Page A

Bolitho’s parrot had won first prize in the pet parade, just because he could say ‘Who’s a pretty boy?’ but he wasn’t really that pretty any more. His feathers were looking tatty and he’d taken to sticking out his tongue, which was all black and leathery. There was no way the judges could choose him again, not with Dennis in the competition.
    Dennis stayed calm even when Dad burst in, dumped his coat on the table with a flourish, and announced that he had had a brilliant day atwork. Ed was delighted with him and everyone in the office thought he was the bee’s knees.
    â€˜My mates from football have been texting me all day,’ he said. ‘They’ve been calling me Daphne!’
    He was so excited he could hardly keep still.
    â€˜What’s for supper, Jan? Parsnip pudding? My favourite!’
    He was practically jumping up and down. It was just a shame the nose-under-hand thing didn’t work with human beings.
    There was a knock at the door and Gran walked in.
    â€˜Mum!’ goes Dad, giving her a big hug. ‘Did you see me on TV?’
    Mum said, ‘Are you staying for supper, Gwen? There’s plenty to go round.’
    Before Gran could answer, Mr Kaminski put his head round the door. He always seemed to arrive like magic whenever Gran came round. He was wearing a new green cardigan with a blue stripe down one sleeve, Dad’s latest thank-you present for doing the problem page.
    â€˜Would you like to join us for supper, Mr Kaminski?’ said Mum.
    When it comes to eating parsnip pudding, you can do with all the help you can get, so it was good we had Matt, Gran and Mr Kaminski crammed inround the kitchen table with us when Mum got it out of the oven.
    The parsnip pudding was puffed up like a pile of cotton wool, but as soon as Mum put it down on the mat it collapsed and went wrinkly.
    â€˜I see you on television, Dave,’ said Mr Kaminski, as Mum started dishing up. ‘You are very good. You are star!’
    â€˜I couldn’t have done it without your help,’ goes Dad.
    What did he mean, without Mr Kaminski’s help? He couldn’t have done it without Mr Kaminski doing it!
    We had mashed potatoes and cabbage with the parsnip pudding, which made three heaps of greyish mush. At times like this you’ve got to be grateful to the person who invented ketchup.
    Dad talked about his TV adventure all the way through the meal and then Mum collected up the plates. She didn’t seem to notice I had hidden most of my parsnip pudding under my knife and fork.
    â€˜I’ve got some exciting news myself,’ Gran said, finally managing to get a word in edgeways. ‘I’m getting the keys to my new house this weekend!’
    â€˜The sale has gone through?’ cried Mum. ‘That’s fantastic!’
    Everyone gave Gran a hug, even Matt andMr Kaminski. Actually, Mr Kaminski gave her an especially big hug.
    â€˜Is wonderful,’ he said, finally letting her go. ‘We do boat trips now, yes?’
    That was the plan. Gran had given up teaching old people to surf in St Ives and was coming back to live in Polgotherick. She was going to run boat trips round the harbour, and Mr Kaminski was going to help. Gran had lots of great plans but they didn’t all work out, so I hoped Mr Kaminski wasn’t going to be disappointed.
    â€˜I can’t wait to get my hands on that garden!’ said Mum.
    Gran’s new house was only a few minutes’ walk from ours, over the stile at the top of Harbour Row and out on the coastal path. It had been empty for ages and the garden was like a jungle. It was called Nash House.
    â€˜I won’t be able to move in until the workmen have done the central heating and everything,’ Gran said. ‘But Jane says I can stay as long as I like at the Happy Haddock.’
    Jane was Gran’s old school friend and she ran the pub at the far end of the harbour. I thought, ‘I bet