Honeymooning Read Online Free

shoulder. The knocking came again, more insistent now. “Hold your damn horses.” He picked his cowboy hat up off the chair where he’d thrown it as they’d entered and stuck it on his head.
    The door opened to reveal a man and a woman, holding hands, wreathed in nothing but smiles. They reminded Janet of doorbell evangelists in their enthusiastic grins, although the similarities ended there. The man was probably close to sixty—he was round, his belly ponderous, so large that Janet actually felt grateful for it, since it hid away what she didn’t really want to see. He had a ring of hair around his wide head like a monk. The woman with him had bright red fluffy hair and the air that anywhere else she’d be wearing a muumuu and getting away with it. She was comfortably padded and pink all over.
    “Hello, neighbors!” said the man. “I’m Bruce, and this is Wilma. Thought we’d come over and say hello to the new kids on the block.”
    Janet was amazed by how cool Tom looked. Not red in the face, not flustered a bit as he put out his hand and shook their hands, one at a time. “Pleasure, Bruce. Howdy, Wilma. I’m Tom, and that little lady in the bed is Janet, my new bride.” Tom’s shoulders were back, and he stood tall as he gestured to her. No slouching, no hiding.
    “Oh, newlyweds,” cooed Wilma. “How wonderful. And you’ve come to the right place, that’s for sure. Moonlight Escape is just the most romantic place in the world, isn’t it?” She slid her hand into Bruce’s and looked, well... Janet had to admit she looked adorable. Pink and pleased and very happy.
    “Excellent.” Bruce nodded firmly. “Congratulations. Marriage is the best thing that ever happened to me, I can say that for sure. Now, we wanted to make sure you know that the games begin in fifteen minutes, and if you don’t sign up early, then you really miss out on the fun. Gotta form your teams early in the day, you know. Lot of competition around here.”
    “Games? Well, how great! What kind of games?” Tom’s voice was hearty. A little too hearty, thought Janet. Perhaps there was a chink in his invisible suit of armor, after all.
    “Just about everything you could think of wanting to do. Bowling! Lawn darts! There’s horseshoes and volleyball, as well as indoor games like chess and Scrabble matches, but what Wilma and I like the best is the charades. We’re good at it. No one beats us, do they, peanut?”
    Nude charades. Lawn darts. Janet’s mind boggled.
    Wilma flapped her free hand. “Like we said, it starts soon, so we’ll see you there? We can introduce you to everyone, you know. We’ve been coming here for twenty-two happy years. It’s our home away from home.” Wilma looked at Janet expectantly, as if waiting for some kind of confirmation.
    Oh, God. She couldn’t think of a damn thing to say. Why had words, usually so easy for Janet, suddenly deserted her? She searched her mind for polite chit-chat and came up with nothing. Then she leaned forward, keeping the sheet tightly wrapped around her. “What about when you’re not here? How do you get on the plane?” Tom gave her a surprised look. But she had to know, even if she was uncharacteristically flustered. Who were nudists when they had to cover up?
    Wilma looked shocked. She put her pink hand to her throat. “Goodness! I’m a second-grade teacher! I wear clothes when I’m not here, of course I do.”
    Bruce’s bushy eyebrows flapped. “And I’m a wine buyer for the three biggest restaurant chains in Iowa.” The couple frowned at her.
    “How nice,” said Tom quickly.
    “Oh,” said Janet. “Of course. I’m sorry. Very sorry.” She didn’t know exactly what she was apologizing for, unless it that her question bordered on the rude. Yes, okay, she was apologizing for that.
    “So.” Bruce inclined his head gracefully and then grinned again. All was apparently forgiven. “We’ll see you at sign-ups? We’re having a talent night Friday—you