Home to You Read Online Free Page B

of the room. He was all alone, and blood covered the front of his shirt. His eyes were fixed and glassy, and I wanted to go to him. For him to hold me, for me to hold him, but my mom began to tremble next to me, reminding me of how she was after Dad died. I wrapped my arms around her and squeezed. Mom needed me. I needed to be strong. I was okay. Everything would be okay.  
    With senses on high alert, I heard the electric doors before the doctor pulled down his mask and entered the room.  
    He called my mom’s name and we both stood, using each other for support. He came toward us, and before he uttered the words, I knew.  
    “I’m sorry, Mrs. McGregor, we did everything we could.”  
    My mom sagged in my arms, and my mind filled with static. I watched the doctor’s mouth move, unable to comprehend anything else he said. All I knew was that my brother was gone, and nothing else mattered.  
    Mom and I were invited back to say our goodbyes, and I looked over my shoulder, scanning the room for Jake. He wasn’t in the corner where I’d last seen him. He needed to be there. Dave was his best friend; he needed to be able to say goodbye.
    People were everywhere, nurses rushing back and forth, and there was a baby crying in her mother’s arm—so many people. I spun around among the chaos, and the whole room began to echo. Then I saw him, way at the other side of the room. His back was turned, and he was walking down the hall on his way out of the hospital. I wanted to call out, to run to him and tell him not to leave, but I felt Mom shaking in my arms beside me and knew she needed me calm. I held her tightly, my heart ripping farther out of my chest with each breath, but I was in shock. I hadn’t shed a single tear.  
    When I returned to the house hours later, Jake was sitting forward on the couch, his head in his hands, and I dropped my bag to the apartment floor.  
    He looked up, and the torment I saw in his eyes caused a ball of tears to thicken the back of my throat.  
    He needed me.
    I needed him.
    We needed each other.  
    Before I could say anything, he was on his feet, crossing the room in two powerful strides. “I’m so sorry.” He crushed me hard against his chest, and my whole body sagged against him.  
    He gripped me to him, and I pressed my face to the smooth cotton of his shirt. I could feel his heartbeat, the warmth of his breath, the deep rumble of his voice. I needed all of it. Needed confirmation that the only other man I’d ever loved in my life was still alive.  
    “I was supposed to be there,” he whispered.  
    His words came like a confession, laced with guilt and pain. Then his strong hands trailed down my back, and he sunk to his knees in front of me. “It was supposed to be me.”  
    My hands fell to his hair, and he wrapped his arms around my waist. “I couldn’t get to him, Katie.”
    My chest heaved. “No, Jake…don’t.” I was choking, every word painful. “No…”
    “He told me, but I didn’t listen.” His voice was raw and hollow.
    Hot tears began to fall for the first time. I had no idea what he was talking about, but I couldn’t stand to hear him blame himself. “It’s not your fault, Jake. It was nobody’s fault.”My voice was strange and broken. I tried to lift him to his feet, but he was too heavy, and his shoulders began to shake. I’d known him for seventeen years, since he was little boy, and never once had I seen him like this. It terrified me.  
    I sank to the floor next to him, pulling him to me with strength I didn’t know I had. My fingers found his damp hair, and I smoothed it back from his face. “It’ll be okay, Jake, it’ll be okay.” Even as I said the words, I wasn’t sure I believed them. How could the world be okay without my brother?  
    He looked up, his eyes red-rimmed and wild with pain, and I trailed my hand down the side of his jaw. “I’m so sorry.”  
    “Shh…” he whispered, and in an instant that part of him was