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sobered. “What?” But I knew what he was talking about. I hadn’t meant to say the words. They just slipped out.  
    “No one has ever said that to me before.”  
    That wasn’t the answer I was expecting. Sure, I’d never said the words before, but there was no way I was buying it. “Whatever.” I rolled my eyes. “Everyone loves you.”  
    He shrugged. “It’s true.” Not seeming to care if I believed him or not.
    “Your parents?” I pointed out, as if to say duh.
    “Nope. They’re just not the type. I know they love me, they just don’t say it.”
    Wow . Hearing that made me a little sad. I always knew his parents were a couple of jerks, but to never say I love you to their own child? I suddenly understood so much about him. Understood why he always swore he’d never have a family of his own. Why he spent everyday at our house growing up.
    Even though I hadn’t meant to say the words the first time, in that moment, I was compelled to say them again. “Well, it’s true… I love you, Jake Johnson.” I smiled a big cheesy grin, trying to lighten the words I’d held inside for nine years.
    His eyes crinkled at the corners—but his stomach growled at the same time, breaking some of the seriousness that had settled over us. He patted it like it was its own life-form, then glanced at the burnt mass in the sink. “I’m gonna taste it.”
    “No, you’re not. It’s all burnt and disgusting.” I looked down at the puddle of soggy, blackened popcorn in the sink.
    He raised an eyebrow like I’d dared him, picked up a large chunk, and tossed it in his mouth.  
    My eyes widened with shock and disgust as I watched him chew and swallow.  
    “Not bad.” He shrugged, then smiled his crooked smile again.
    I shook my head at his willfulness but couldn’t help feeling amused. “Come on, I think I have some money stashed in my room. Let’s go see what we can get off the dollar menu.”  
    “I knew you were holding out on us.” He threw his arm over my shoulder, kissed my cheek, and we walked out of the kitchen.  
    My heart soared high that day. I was the first person to ever say I loved him. He never said the words back, but something else changed between us that afternoon. There was a closeness, an understanding that went so much deeper than it ever had before. It was after that day I began to think something might actually happen between us, and it was after that day everything fell apart.

Three years earlier

    DRESSED IN THE BOXERS AND a cami I’d worn to bed the night before, I searched the crowded emergency room for a familiar face. My heart was in my throat as I scanned from seat to seat, my legs like gelatin as I stepped over someone’s outstretched legs looking for a glimpse of my mom.  
    When our eyes locked, it was as if I floated over to her. Not even remembering the movements it took to get there. She looked pale and gray, much like she had nine years earlier when we waited for news about my father. Though this time maybe even worse. Not because she was older, but because she waited to hear the news of her only son.  
    “We don’t know anything yet.” Her eyes filled with tears, and she squeezed my hand.    
    “What happened?” I sat down, not knowing if I wanted answers, only that I needed to say something to fill the void in my chest with noise so I wouldn’t fall apart.  
    “He was talking with an inspector—someone lost control of the crane—” Her voice cracked, unable to continue, but I’d heard enough. Whatever happened was bad enough that he was in surgery. So bad that we hadn’t heard anything in an hour.  
    My eyes burned with unshed tears, and I felt like a ton of bricks landed on my chest. I didn’t want to cry. Crying meant that something was wrong, and I wasn’t ready to accept that. God wouldn’t do that to me. He’d already taken my father. He couldn’t have my brother too.
      I glanced around the waiting area, spotting Jake in a far-off corner