Hitman Anders and the Meaning of It All Read Online Free Page A
Author: Jonas Jonasson
that moment, Per Persson wanted to be somewhere else. He had just heard the priest say âWe here at the Sea Point Hotel.â She hadnât even checked in yet, much less paid, but that hadnât stopped her from initiating a financial transaction with a hitman in the hotelâs name.
The receptionist decided to dislike the new guest. Beyond that, he had no better idea than to stand where he was, by the wall next to the lobby refrigerator, and try to look as uninteresting as possible. The person who arouses no emotion need not be beaten to death, was his reasoning.
Hitman Anders was pretty confused himself. The priest had said so much in such a short time that he hadnât quite followed it all (plus there was that business of her being a priest: that in and of itself really mucked things up).
She seemed to be suggesting some form of cooperation. That sort of thing usually ended poorly, but it was always worth a listen. It wasnât necessary to start with a good thrashing in all cases. In fact, surprisingly, it was often best to do that part last.
And so it came to be that Hitman Anders told them the details of the job he had done. He hadnât killed anyone, if that was what they were thinking.
âNo, I suppose itâs hard to half commit a murder,â the priest mused.
Hitman Anders said that he had decided to stop murdering people, because it came at too high a price: if it happened once more, he wouldnât walk free again until he was eighty.
But the thing was, no sooner was he out in the world and had found a place to live than he had received a number of proposals from various directions. Most were from people who, for a substantial amount of money, wanted enemies and acquaintances cleared away, that is, murdered, that is, the thing Hitman Anders was no longer engaged in. Or, more accurately, never had been engaged in. Somehow it had all just ended up like that.
Aside from the proposed contract killings, he received the occasional assignment of a more reasonable nature, such as the most recent one. The object was to break both the arms of a man who had purchased a car from Hitman Andersâs employer and previous acquaintance, the count, driven away in it and, later that evening, lost all the purchase money on blackjack instead of paying off his debt.
The priest didnât know what blackjack wasâit wasnât a pastime either of her two former congregations had spent much time on during the fellowship hour after services. Instead, they had had a tradition of playing Pick Up Sticks, which could be fun now and then. Anyway, the priest was more curious to know how the purchase of the car had taken place.
âDid he take the car without paying?â
Hitman Anders explained the legalities of Stockholmâs less legal circles. In this particular case, the car in question was a nine-year-old Saab, but the principle was the same. Arranging one or a couple of daysâ credit with the count was never a problem. A predicament would arise only if the money wasnât on the table when the time was up. And when that happened the borrower, rather than the creditor, was the one with the predicament.
âSuch as one involving a broken arm?â
âYes, or two, like I said. If the car had been any newer, ribs and face would probably have been included in the order.â
âTwo broken arms that became one. Did you miscount, or what went wrong?â
âI stole a bike and paid a visit to the thief with a brännboll bat on the luggage rack. When I found him, he was holding a newborn baby girl in one arm, and he asked me to have mercy or whatever itâs called. Since, deep down, I have a good heart, my mom always said I did, I broke his other arm in two places instead. And I let him put down the baby first, so she wouldnât get hurt if he fell over while I was doing my job. And fall over he did. Iâve got a mean wind-up with a brännboll bat. Though now
The receptionist decided to dislike the new guest. Beyond that, he had no better idea than to stand where he was, by the wall next to the lobby refrigerator, and try to look as uninteresting as possible. The person who arouses no emotion need not be beaten to death, was his reasoning.
Hitman Anders was pretty confused himself. The priest had said so much in such a short time that he hadnât quite followed it all (plus there was that business of her being a priest: that in and of itself really mucked things up).
She seemed to be suggesting some form of cooperation. That sort of thing usually ended poorly, but it was always worth a listen. It wasnât necessary to start with a good thrashing in all cases. In fact, surprisingly, it was often best to do that part last.
And so it came to be that Hitman Anders told them the details of the job he had done. He hadnât killed anyone, if that was what they were thinking.
âNo, I suppose itâs hard to half commit a murder,â the priest mused.
Hitman Anders said that he had decided to stop murdering people, because it came at too high a price: if it happened once more, he wouldnât walk free again until he was eighty.
But the thing was, no sooner was he out in the world and had found a place to live than he had received a number of proposals from various directions. Most were from people who, for a substantial amount of money, wanted enemies and acquaintances cleared away, that is, murdered, that is, the thing Hitman Anders was no longer engaged in. Or, more accurately, never had been engaged in. Somehow it had all just ended up like that.
Aside from the proposed contract killings, he received the occasional assignment of a more reasonable nature, such as the most recent one. The object was to break both the arms of a man who had purchased a car from Hitman Andersâs employer and previous acquaintance, the count, driven away in it and, later that evening, lost all the purchase money on blackjack instead of paying off his debt.
The priest didnât know what blackjack wasâit wasnât a pastime either of her two former congregations had spent much time on during the fellowship hour after services. Instead, they had had a tradition of playing Pick Up Sticks, which could be fun now and then. Anyway, the priest was more curious to know how the purchase of the car had taken place.
âDid he take the car without paying?â
Hitman Anders explained the legalities of Stockholmâs less legal circles. In this particular case, the car in question was a nine-year-old Saab, but the principle was the same. Arranging one or a couple of daysâ credit with the count was never a problem. A predicament would arise only if the money wasnât on the table when the time was up. And when that happened the borrower, rather than the creditor, was the one with the predicament.
âSuch as one involving a broken arm?â
âYes, or two, like I said. If the car had been any newer, ribs and face would probably have been included in the order.â
âTwo broken arms that became one. Did you miscount, or what went wrong?â
âI stole a bike and paid a visit to the thief with a brännboll bat on the luggage rack. When I found him, he was holding a newborn baby girl in one arm, and he asked me to have mercy or whatever itâs called. Since, deep down, I have a good heart, my mom always said I did, I broke his other arm in two places instead. And I let him put down the baby first, so she wouldnât get hurt if he fell over while I was doing my job. And fall over he did. Iâve got a mean wind-up with a brännboll bat. Though now
Readers choose
Judy Clemens
Finn Marlowe
Brian Falkner
Frances Vernon
Curtis Bunn
Brad Meltzer
Dannika Dark
Juliet Francis
Gary Ballard
Alice Munro