Here at Last Read Online Free
Author: Kat Lansby
Tags: Romance, Literature & Fiction, Contemporary, Contemporary Fiction, Holidays
deepen my relationship with David. When I awoke the next morning, the residual feeling of love from the dream was so strong and tangible that I wondered if David and I would ever be able to transform our relationship enough to make it feel like this.
Chapter 4
The night before I returned to New Jersey for the second time a few weeks later , I had a beautiful c onversation with David . He told me that he loved me and missed me and was lonely with out me. We expressed our love for one another and how much we wanted to support one another's goals and needs.
When I returned home the following day, that David was gone. The one that stood facing me in New Jersey was argumentative and demanded that I come home from San Diego even though he wouldn't have been able to support the two of us financially. I told him that I loved my work and didn’t want to leave it .
David yelled about wanting to start a family and told me that he didn’t want me going on any more lengthy business trips, begging me to come home and stay. My head wa s swimming, and I felt a knot in my stomach . Then , I remember ed the man in my dreams. Closing my eyes while David was shouting , I recalled how safe and loved I’d felt with him.
I hear d myself say, "We need to let this go."
“What?” David froze . “What are you talking about? You're talking crazy now. You're tired from the flight."
As soon as I said it, I knew it was true so I sa id it again. "David , we love each other , b ut we don't want the same things. I love my work. I don't want to come home and have babies. I need to free you so you can find someone who does. If I don't let you go, you'll never be happy, and you'll just end up resenting me."
He was staring at me as though he had seen a ghost. "I can't believe what you're saying. Four years. After four years? J ust like that?”
I felt more certain about this than I had about anything in a very long time. I said calmly, “David, we need to let each other go. If we don't, we'll both be miserable."
"I'm already miserable," he yelled and stormed out of the room.
Even though I would return to San Diego in a couple of days and he’d have the house to himself , he couldn't wait to get out and had moved everything into an apartment before the weekend was over . I tr ied to talk to him before he left on Sunday, but his only words to me were, "Here's the key."
Had I just end ed a perfectly good relationship for a kind of l ove that I could only hope exists? I was beginning to wonder if I was being highly unrealistic . However, I knew that I had to try to find that kind of love and that my life with David would have been shallow by comparison.
Chapter 5
Over the next several weeks , JT and I stayed at the office late to continue set ting up the equipment and run ning tests. We were both workaholics who had no inc entive to go home when everyone else left. Although we never discussed it, o ur shared love of work and the feeling that there was nothing else in our lives that we should be doing created a sense of camaraderie between us . W e worked late often enough that we began having Dragon Chef deliver dinner to our office at six o’clock every evening .
Unlike most of my friends, who worked in other fields, JT was someone with whom I could discuss physics. We talked about the crisis-ridden journey from classical physics to quantum mechanics, which began with a nearly triumphant “theory of everything” to the erosion of its very underpinnings in the late 19 th century.
Prussian physicist Max Planck had always been one of my heroes. Hardly fitting the stereotype of a revolutionary, he had unwittingly proposed a new way to conceptualize energy . Planck didn’t view himself as a particularly talented physicist and found the six weeks during which he developed his new radiation law to be one of the most strenuous periods in his life. When h e presented his new theory at a meeting of the German Physical Society on December 14,
Chapter 4
The night before I returned to New Jersey for the second time a few weeks later , I had a beautiful c onversation with David . He told me that he loved me and missed me and was lonely with out me. We expressed our love for one another and how much we wanted to support one another's goals and needs.
When I returned home the following day, that David was gone. The one that stood facing me in New Jersey was argumentative and demanded that I come home from San Diego even though he wouldn't have been able to support the two of us financially. I told him that I loved my work and didn’t want to leave it .
David yelled about wanting to start a family and told me that he didn’t want me going on any more lengthy business trips, begging me to come home and stay. My head wa s swimming, and I felt a knot in my stomach . Then , I remember ed the man in my dreams. Closing my eyes while David was shouting , I recalled how safe and loved I’d felt with him.
I hear d myself say, "We need to let this go."
“What?” David froze . “What are you talking about? You're talking crazy now. You're tired from the flight."
As soon as I said it, I knew it was true so I sa id it again. "David , we love each other , b ut we don't want the same things. I love my work. I don't want to come home and have babies. I need to free you so you can find someone who does. If I don't let you go, you'll never be happy, and you'll just end up resenting me."
He was staring at me as though he had seen a ghost. "I can't believe what you're saying. Four years. After four years? J ust like that?”
I felt more certain about this than I had about anything in a very long time. I said calmly, “David, we need to let each other go. If we don't, we'll both be miserable."
"I'm already miserable," he yelled and stormed out of the room.
Even though I would return to San Diego in a couple of days and he’d have the house to himself , he couldn't wait to get out and had moved everything into an apartment before the weekend was over . I tr ied to talk to him before he left on Sunday, but his only words to me were, "Here's the key."
Had I just end ed a perfectly good relationship for a kind of l ove that I could only hope exists? I was beginning to wonder if I was being highly unrealistic . However, I knew that I had to try to find that kind of love and that my life with David would have been shallow by comparison.
Chapter 5
Over the next several weeks , JT and I stayed at the office late to continue set ting up the equipment and run ning tests. We were both workaholics who had no inc entive to go home when everyone else left. Although we never discussed it, o ur shared love of work and the feeling that there was nothing else in our lives that we should be doing created a sense of camaraderie between us . W e worked late often enough that we began having Dragon Chef deliver dinner to our office at six o’clock every evening .
Unlike most of my friends, who worked in other fields, JT was someone with whom I could discuss physics. We talked about the crisis-ridden journey from classical physics to quantum mechanics, which began with a nearly triumphant “theory of everything” to the erosion of its very underpinnings in the late 19 th century.
Prussian physicist Max Planck had always been one of my heroes. Hardly fitting the stereotype of a revolutionary, he had unwittingly proposed a new way to conceptualize energy . Planck didn’t view himself as a particularly talented physicist and found the six weeks during which he developed his new radiation law to be one of the most strenuous periods in his life. When h e presented his new theory at a meeting of the German Physical Society on December 14,
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