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cop to see how I could go about getting a restraining order. There was something in the way he looked at me. I know he gave me his card for a reason but the last thing I needed to be thinking about was another man. It’d be awhile before I started dating again.

Lake
    Destiny was screaming at the top of her tiny lungs waking me up out of my fantasy of Idris Elba and me lying on a beach in the Caribbean. I attempted to nudge Greg hoping he’d wake up and get her this time, but his side of the bed was empty.
    My eyes shot open to see that Greg was indeed not in bed. “Greg?”
    I climbed out of bed and went to the far right side of the room to pick Destiny up from her crib. “What’s wrong, Destiny?” I rocked her as I walked out of the bedroom calling out for Greg. He wasn’t in the living room either. As I walked back to the bedroom I glanced at the time of the microwave in the kitchen; it was 4:12 AM.
    After I changed and fed Destiny, I grabbed my cell phone and called Greg. It rang three times before going to voicemail. I knew exactly what that meant. He’d rejected my call. I called him three more times back to back, each time my calls went straight to voicemail which now meant he’d turned his cell phone off.
    “Son of a bitch!” I screamed before slamming my cell phone on top of my bed. I’d told myself I wasn’t going to spend my life being miserable but by the way Greg was acting, only one week after his daughter was born; it looked as if I surely would be.
    “Greg, I don’t know where you are and why you’re not answering my calls. It could be a got-damn emergency with your daughter!” I tossed my phone on his empty side of the bed after leaving the fifth voicemail for him.
    I couldn’t believe he was doing this to me. I didn’t want to think he was lying up with some bitch but the writing was on the wall. I rolled over in my bed and tried to fall asleep. After tossing and turning for two hours, I dug into my nightstand for my little bottle of pills. It was a mixture of all kinds of illegal prescription medication that wasn’t prescribed to me. Well, some of it was, but I made sure to steer clear of the pills that I was actually supposed to be taking. Nothing took worries away like the street shit. After taking two pills, I finally dozed off.
    ❤❤❤❤❤
    I stood in the middle of my kitchen waiting on the bottle to finally get warm while at the same time bouncing her up and down in my arms. She was crying like I was hurting her and I was damn near about to pull my hair out of my head.
    Having a baby was a lot harder than I ever thought it could be. Taking care of her by myself, was even harder. I hadn’t seen or heard from Greg in two weeks. If I wasn’t so embarrassed about the entire situation, I would have filed a missing person’s report on him. But I was carrying on like Greg and I were even more in love than ever. I was so sick of this man making a fool out of me!
    It was like he didn’t even care that he just had a kid. I wanted to believe something bad had happened to him. That would have been better than him just completely ignoring the fact that he just had a child with me. I’d blocked my number and called him a few times and the nigga had the nerve to answer the got-damn phone after he’d ignored all fifty-seven calls from my phone number!
    I didn’t know any of his relatives so I couldn’t call them or drive by their houses to see if he was there. Yeah, I know it was stupid as hell to be involved with a man for as long as I’d been, and never met any of his family. But I forgot about all that when I was in his arms at night and I preferred that to cold sheets any day of the week. Nonetheless, I’d been so stupid for so long, it made me nauseous with embarrassment.
    I couldn’t believe I was fool enough to get involved with him, let alone get pregnant by him. Now here I was, about to lose my mind with a screaming baby in my arms and no idea how to be a mother.
    Regret