Heart of a Dog Read Online Free

nervously.
        'You're a wizard, a magician, professor!' he said bashfully.
        'Take down your trousers, old man,' ordered Philip Philip-ovich and stood up.
        Christ, thought the dog, what a sight! The man's hair was completely green, although at the back it shaded off into a brownish tobacco colour, wrinkles covered his face yet his complexion was as pink as a boy's. His left leg would not bend and had to be dragged across the carpet, but his right leg was as springy as a jack-in-the-box. In the buttonhole of his superb jacket there shone, like an eye, a precious stone.
        The dog was so fascinated that he even forgot his nausea. Oow-ow, he whined softly.
        'Quiet! . . . How have you been sleeping!'
        The man giggled. 'Are we alone, professor? It's indescribable,' said the visitor coyly. 'Parole d'honneur - I haven't known anything like it for twenty-five years . . .' the creature started struggling with his flybuttons . . . 'Would you believe it, professor - hordes of naked girls every night. I am absolutely entranced. You're a magician.'
        'H'm,' grunted Philip Philipovich, preoccupied as he stared into the pupils of his visitor's eyes. The man finally succeeded in mastering his flybuttons and took off his checked trousers, revealing the most extraordinary pair of pants. They were cream-coloured, embroidered with black silk cats and they smelled of perfume.
        The dog could not resist the cats and gave such a bark that the man jumped.
        'Oh!'
        'Quiet - or I'll beat you! . . . Don't worry, he won't bite.'
        Won't I? thought the dog in amazement.
        Out of the man's trouser pocket a little envelope fell to the floor. It was decorated with a
    picture of a naked girl with flowing hair. He gave a start, bent down to pick it up and blushed violently.
        'Look here,' said Philip Philipovich in a tone of grim warning, wagging a threatening finger, 'you shouldn't overdo it, you know.'
        'I'm not overdo . . .' the creature muttered in embarrassment as he went on undressing. 'It was just a sort of experiment.'
        'Well, what were the results?' asked Philip Philipovich sternly.
        The man waved his hand in ecstasy. 'I swear to God, professor, I haven't known anything like it for twenty-five years. The last time was in 1899 in Paris, in the Rue de la Paix.'
        'And why have you turned green?'
        The visitor's face clouded over. 'That damned stuff! You'd never believe, professor, what those rogues palmed off on me instead of dye. Just take a look,' the man muttered, searching for a mirror. 'I'd like to punch him on the snout,' he added in a rage. 'What am I to do now, professor?' he asked tearfully.
        'H'm. Shave all your hair off.'
    'But, professor,' cried the visitor miserably, 'then it would only grow grey again. Besides, I
    daren't show my face at the office like this. I haven't been there for three days. Ah, professor, if only you had discovered a way of rejuvenating hair!'
        'One thing at a time, old man, one thing at a time,' muttered Philip Philipovich. Bending down, his glittering eyes examined the patient's naked abdomen.
        'Splendid, everything's in great shape. To tell you the truth I didn't even expect such results. You can get dressed now.'
        ' "Ah, she's so lovely . . ." ' sang the patient in a voice that quavered like the sound of someone hitting an old, cracked saucepan. Beaming, he started to dress. When he was ready he skipped across the floor in a cloud of perfume, counted out a heap of white banknotes on the professor's desk and shook him tenderly by both hands.
        'You needn't come back for two weeks,' said Philip Philipovich, 'but I must beg you - be careful.'
        The ecstaticvoice replied from behind thedoor: 'Don't worry, professor.' The creature gave a delighted giggle and went. The doorbell tinkled through the apartment and the varnished door opened,