Gustav Gloom and the People Taker (9781101620748) Read Online Free

Everwiner continued. “Unfortunately, they keep saying they have no
cause
. How can they have no cause? Just look at the place!”
    The Whats looked at the place.
    Their lack of an immediate response made Mrs. Everwiner change the subject. “By the way, I saw you bring a pet carrier into the house. I hope that was another little dog. Snooks here can always use a friend for playdates.”
    This, at least, was something that could be answered. “I’m sorry,” Mr. What said. “Harrington’s a cat.”
    â€œOh,” Mrs. Everwiner said. There were several seconds of uncomfortable silence. Apparently she didn’t like cats much and ran out of words as soon as one was mentioned. “You don’t let it run around loose, do you? You don’t really want him to get into a fight with Snooks.”
    Fernie regarded Snooks (who had just jumped away from his own shadow as if it had turned around and tried to bite him) and found it hard to believe that any fight between Snooks and Harrington would ever happen. “No,” she said. “I don’t want him to get into a fight with Snooks.”
    â€œThat’s good,” Mrs. Everwiner said, “because Snooks is a very high-strung dog and would be so upset if that ever happened that he probably wouldn’t eat or poop right for weeks.”
    â€œWell,” Mr. What said politely, “we wouldn’t want Snooks to have any trouble pooping.”
    â€œYes,” Fernie said. “We were worried about that when we drove in.”
    Mr. What began to tell Mrs. Everwiner about all the special precautions he was going to take to make sure Harrington didn’t get out of the house and bother Snooks, and he was so busy detailing the procedures that he missed seeing what Fernie saw.
    Snooks had scrambled away from his shadow as if it had tried to bite him a second time. In fact, Fernie realized with a start, it
had
tried to bite him. The shadow was running around the actual dog in circles, sniffing his rear end and nipping at his tail. Snooks was so disturbed by all the shadow’s attentions that he whined and walked in circles and looked up at Mrs. Everwiner, begging her with his big brown eyes to notice how badly he was being bullied. But Mrs. Everwiner was too busy to notice, as she was too involved with telling Mr. What more about her dog’s nervous conditions, which, in addition to being scared of the house across the street, also included being angry at the toilet bowl and in love with the umbrella stand.
    Fernie wanted to say, “Yes, that’s all very interesting, but if you’ll just look down you’ll see something even weirder: your dog’s shadow picking a fight with him.” But all that came out was a little amazed squeak. Unable to come up with any way to get her family’s attention other than just opening her eyes as wide as possible, Fernie could only watch as the shadow dog grew tired of baiting the real dog and ran across the street.
    Then she saw the second impossible thing she’d seen in about as many seconds: Snooks’s runaway shadow leaped between the iron bars in the fence and into the sad little boy’s arms, licking his face with doggy affection.
    Fernie whirled toward her father, hoping against hope that he’d seen it, too. But, no; Mr. What was too busy listening to Mrs. Everwiner, who had changed the subject and was now going on at great length about a local supermarket with a cashier that had been rude to her and why this meant Mr. What should never shop there.
    Even Pearlie paid close attention to this, not because it was the most fascinating subject in the world but because she was fascinated that anybody would ever think it was.
    Feeling a little like her body was a car and she’d just been handed the steering wheel without knowing how to drive, Fernie murmured “Excuse me” and slipped away somewhere during Mrs. Everwiner’s