Guarded Hearts Read Online Free Page A

out of our way.
    “Tell her you’re sorry, you stupid fucker,” Brett yells. He is starting to make a scene, and all I want is to get to class. People that are busy walking to class now seem to slow down to see if there is going to be a fight. Sometimes I feel like I’m still in high school.
    “Nothing happened, baby. Come on, it was my fault. I was distracted by your kisses. You know I don’t like to be late,” I intervene again, playing at his male ego, which is the safest choice at the moment. First Mandy with Kylie and now Brett and this guy; I feel like the teacher on duty at the playground.
    I start to drag Brett into the room, leading him by the arm. I turn around to see if I can catch the guy’s face, since all I saw was his back the entire time, but once again I am treated with his back. He has turned around and is now talking to Mandy and she is smiling up at him. I pause, because Mandy didn’t have friends aside from me. I mean, don’t get me wrong, but when I am befriending everyone, she does the opposite. I don’t think she knows anyone from school. We have been sharing classes since last year. He must be a customer from her job or something.
    He must be talking about us, because she looks at me over his shoulder and she gives me a frown. He moves towards the row of seats behind us, towards the top. I am still not able to see him clearly.
    I generally sit in the front row because I need to pay attention and have the Professors see me and hear me when I participate in class discussions, because I want them to remember me so I can later ask for a recommendation.
    As the professor comes in and starts with the lecture of what he expects from us this semester and what we will need, I start to analyze the feelings that I did not want to think about in the last few minutes, because I didn’t know what to make of them. When my fingers had touched his back to keep me from falling flat on my face, I had felt all my blood rush towards my fingertips. That five second brush sent an explosion through my being; because I felt my internal axis shift. Why is he so different from the hundreds of college guys I have met in the last year? I glance over my shoulder once again to see him, and his head is bowed down over his desk and I see an earphone in his ear.
    Great, another loser that doesn’t care about learning.
     

    I t’s the first day of my third year of college and already the day seems endless. My first class is about to start and I can already predict the lecture we are about to receive. How we are expected to make sure all our assignments are turned in on time, no late work. It’s the same thing over and over again about how this class will change your life. As I enter Pacific Hall I start thinking about Sky, his three year anniversary is coming up quick with only four more months to go. As the years have gone by, I always think that this will be the year that the guilt will lessen, that the hurt will become bearable, but no luck. His death still tears my heart apart. Losing him has been the hardest, most painful thing I have ever lived through.
    I start to go into class, but I stop at the door to take a breath to clear my head. I don’t notice there are people rushing to get into class too, until I feel the hand of the person behind me brush my back to keep from stumbling into me. The hand is gone now, but I felt more in that second that I have ever felt in my whole life. My blood starts to warm up, and I clench my fist to keep all the sensations within my body. I don’t want the warmth to leave it.
    “Hey, watch it, loser. What, too much weed killed your brains cells?” I hear someone say behind me. I move out of the way, because I don’t want this stupid jerk to take away the shattering experience of what is going on inside my body.
    “Tell her you’re sorry, you stupid fucker,” the asshole continues. I am rendered speechless. If it would have been any other time, that jerk off would have been