Grailblazers Read Online Free Page B

broken up with a hammer and put in a gin and tonic. ‘Grade C status, company horse, makes you eligible for the pension scheme.’
    â€˜That reminds me,’ Boamund started to say, but the hermit frowned at him.
    â€˜Also,’ he went on, ‘actually finding the Grail immediately qualifies you for a place in Avalon, remission of sins and a legend. If I was a bright, ambitious young knight wanting to make my mark, I’d jump at it.’
    Boamund looked at him.
    â€˜And,’ the hermit continued, ‘if you don’t I’ll send you back to sleep until you do. Right?’
    â€˜Right,’ said Boamund.
    â€˜Splendid,’ said the hermit. ‘Toenail!’
    The dwarf-flap in the living-room door pushed open and Toenail appeared. His arms were oily to the elbow and he was holding a spanner.
    â€˜What?’ he said.
    The hermit frowned. ‘Are you fiddling about with that motorbike again?’ he asked.
    Toenail looked shiftily up over the footstool. ‘What if I am?’ he said.
    The hermit gave him a despairing look. ‘Why, that’s what I want to know,’ he said. ‘If the wretched thing doesn’t work, then I’ll hex it for you, and then perhaps we won’t have so many oily fingerprints on the tea-towels.’
    The dwarf scowled. ‘You leave my bike alone,’ he replied. ‘I’m a dwarf, fixing things is in our blood.’
    â€˜Putting new washers on taps isn’t,’ replied the hermit pointedly. ‘I was soaked to the skin, that time you—’
    â€˜That’s plumbing,’ replied the dwarf. ‘If you want plumbing done, call a plumber. Anyway, what can I do you for?’
    The hermit sighed, and stared the oily footprints out of the carpet. ‘Sir Boamund will be needing some new armour,’ he said, ‘and a sword and a shield and all that sort of thing. Have a look in the cupboard under the stairs, see what we’ve got.’
    â€˜Ah,’ said the dwarf. ‘Now you’re talking.’ He bowed and hurried away.
    â€˜He’s a good sort, really,’ said the hermit. ‘I just wish he wouldn’t keep trying to put a saddle on the cat and ride it round the house. It doesn’t like it, you know.’ The hermit got up, shook Boamund by the hand and clapped him on the shoulder. ‘Anyway,’ he said, ‘best of luck, pop in after you’ve found the Grail, tell me how you’ve got on.’
    Boamund nodded. Chivalry is like that; one minute you’re sitting under a tree, chewing a blade of grass and dreaming of nothing in particular, and the next you’re in the middle of some peculiar chain of adventures, which may end up with you marrying the king’s eldest daughter but is just as likely to end up with you getting knocked off your horse and breaking your neck. You learn to go with the flow in chivalry. In that respect at least, it’s a bit like selling door to door.
    â€˜Bye, then,’ Boamund said. ‘I’ll leave the astrolabe with you, just in case you’ve got a moment to look at it.’
    â€˜Yes indeed,’ said the hermit. He was gradually sinking into a pool of blue light, drifting away into the heart of the great Glass Mountain. A pair of carpet slippers crackled suddenly into flame, and then there was nothing left but an empty chair. Boamund turned to go.
    â€˜Oh yes, I forgot to mention,’ whispered a faint voice. ‘Whatever else you do, make absolutely sure you don’t go near the ...’
    â€˜Sorry?’ Boamund asked. He waited for three minutes, but all he heard were the chimes of an ice-cream van, far away in the distance.
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    â€˜What’s this?’ Boamund asked, puzzled.
    Toenail sighed. He had this feeling that Boamund was going to turn out to be a difficult bugger, and resolved to do his best to be patient. Unfortunately, patience isn’t one of the Three Dwarfish