sweater that matched her eyes, and a short pleated skirt over dark jeans.
I jumped off the bed. I brushed back my hair with one hand. My face was sweaty. Being a gorilla was hard work.
Bree stepped into the room and glanced around. She studied the Mamba Mama poster over my bed. “Ooh, sick,” she said. “That woman is part snake?”
“Well, she’s a teacher in a nursery school. But she can transform into a deadly, venomous snake when she wants to,” I explained.
Bree rolled her eyes. “Whatever.”
I sat down on the edge of my bed. “What are you doing here?” I asked.
She rolled her eyes again. “Good question. I guess it’s just my lucky day.”
Bree is very sarcastic. I’m kind of used to it. We’ve been in the same class since kindergarten. I think I had a crush on her when we were five. Even after she dumped the class ant farm on my head.
She plopped down on my desk chair. “Richard, you know Mrs. Callus teamed partners up for museum projects,” she said.
“She did?”
“You have to stop daydreaming in class, Richard. She did — and you’re my museum partner. I was the lucky one to get you.”
“Cool,” I said.
I knew she was being sarcastic again. But so what? Bree and I working on a project together? How awesome was that?
“So, I guess we have to do this project together,” she said. “But you have to promise me one thing.”
“What is it?” I asked.
“You have to promise you won’t tell anyone we’re working together.”
I thought about it for a few seconds. “Okay.”
“Raise your right hand and swear.”
I raised my right hand and swore. “I won’t tell anyone we’re working together.”
“Okay.” She settled back on the chair. She picked up the little statue of my favorite comic villain, the Scab. She rolled it around in her hand. “Oh, sick. Why is it so scratchy?”
“He has a lot of scabs,” I said. “Be careful with that. It was a birthday present.”
She squinted at me. “You’re not normal, are you?”
That made me laugh.
“I’m not joking,” she said. She set the Scab down next to my autographed photo of the Caped Wolf. Then she jumped to her feet. “I have to get out of here. This room is making me nauseous.”
“Does that mean you don’t want to do our project in the Comic Book Museum?” I asked.
She stuck her finger down her throat and made a barfing sound. I guessed that meant no.
I followed her to the door. “Bree, do you want to get an A?”
“Of course.”
“Then we’ll do the Comic Book Museum,” I said. “I know everything about it. Every corner. Every display. Every everything.”
“So?”
“So, I’ll do all the work. I’ll do the whole project. It will be fun for me. And I promise we’ll get an A.”
She crossed her arms in front of her and squinted at me for a long time. “You’ll do all the work?”
I raised my right hand again. “I swear.”
She thought about it a while. Then she tossed back her blond hair. “Okay, I guess.”
“Awesome,” I said. “So you’ll take the bus with me to the museum after school tomorrow?”
“No. I’ll meet you there. I don’t want anyone from school seeing us together.” She spun away and hurried down the stairs.
This is going to work out great! I thought.
The next morning, my head felt like a water balloon. And I was a total snot machine. I sneezed so hard, I thought I would blow my head off. And my eyes were running so badly, I could barely see.
I started to brush my teeth and sneezed all over the bathroom mirror. I tried to wipe my eyes with a towel, but they kept running like the water fountain at school that you can’t turn off.
I pulled on some clothes and went down to breakfast. Mom and Dad were already arguing, something about whether it was a windy day or not.
I sat down in my place across from Ernie. He had oatmeal smeared all over his chin. He opened his mouth wide, showing me the mushed-up oatmeal inside.
Is he gross enough?
I picked up the