Goose Girl Read Online Free

that this very well could be her last
chance. Svana knew better and soon repeated the words,
    "Blow, blow, thou gentle wind, I say,
    Blow Conrad's tiny cock away,
    And make him chase it here and there,
    Until I have braided all my hair,
    And bound it up today."
    When a blast of wind arose to blow Conrad's erection
across the countryside, a cry resounded from the nearby thicket.
"No!" King Dolphus jumped out from the brush to chase that little
penis at break-neck speed. After all, it had been a while for the
king, and even a small penis was better than no penis at all.
    "What an odd occurrence." Puzzled, Conrad
watched the king make chase.
    "Well? You'd better get after him," Svana
replied, combing her golden locks. "If the king catches your cock,
I hate to think what he might do with it."
    So Conrad ran far away, chasing the king who
was chasing his dick, which was blown by the summer wind. All the
while, the maiden quietly went on combing and plaiting her hair.
Well, both the king and Conrad were absent for quite a long time,
and when they returned they looked utterly contented.
    Collapsing in the grass at Svana's side, the
peeping cock-chaser of a king asked her why she did all these
curious things.
    She replied, "I dare not lament my sorrows
to any human being. I have sworn not to do so by the heavens above
me. And if I had not sworn that oath, I would have lost my
life."
    The king urged her and left her no peace,
but he could draw nothing from the goose-girl. "All right then,"
said he. "If you will not tell me anything, tell your sorrows to
the iron-stove there."
    By this time, Svana desperately desired to
speak to somebody, anybody, about her troubles. Since she had no
gold to pay the county therapist, the dear girl figured an
inanimate object was her next best option. Creeping inside the
iron-stove, the true bride began to weep and lament. She emptied
her whole heart, crying, "Here am I deserted by the whole world,
and yet I am the daughter of not one, but two queens! A false
waiting-maid has, by force, compelled me to put off my royal
apparel, and she has taken my place with my bridegroom. Now I am
doomed forever to perform menial service as a goose-girl alongside
that wretched poultry-sexual. If this my mother knew, her heart
would break in two."
    The king, that clever bugger, was standing
outside by the pipe of the stove, listening to what she said. When
the beautiful girl emerged, royal garments were placed on her.
Svana shone with the radiance of the stars. The king summoned his
son, and revealed he had got the false bride who was only a
waiting-maid. The true one was standing there, as the former
goose-girl.
    The young prince rejoiced with all his heart
when he saw her beauty and youth. She didn't look half as
threatening as his current wife, who had read about some kind of
kinky strangulation thing and wanted to try it. He really wasn't
into asphyxiation. Heavens above, Rosamunda's hands were so huge,
he would be dead by midnight. This new girl was manna from heaven,
as far as Prince Everitt was concerned. Svana didn't think he was
half-bad, either. Together, the three royals hatched a plan so
half-baked, that it just might work.
    * * *
    That evening, a great meal was made ready
for Prince Everitt, Princess Rosamunda, and the minor celebrities
with whom they were acquainted. While the guests feasted on
mole-rat, the specialty of their kingdom, the prince suggested it
might be kind of kinky if he went down on his wife under the dinner
table. Rosamunda's two greatest pleasures were mole-rat and public
sex, so she agreed whole-heartedly.
    So down went the prince, under the
tablecloth and beneath her many skirts until an anxious tongue
fought through the false bride's jungle of pubic hair. When that
tongue struck flesh, Rosamunda's folds released a veritable
waterfall of love juices. Heavens above, the prince must have taken
lessons since they'd done this at the breakfast table. Instead of
flitting about like a lost