God is in the Pancakes Read Online Free

“Why was she so pissed when she came home?”
    â€œThat’s sort of why I came in here. I need to borrow twenty-five bucks.”
    â€œWhy?”
    â€œBecause she’s making me pay the trash ticket for not properly sorting our garbage.”
    â€œYou’re shitting me!” Lolly laughs.
    â€œCould I even make that up?” I reply, shaking my head.
    â€œShe needs serious help,” she says, standing up and walking over to her dresser. Lolly opens the top drawer and takes out her change purse, then pulls out a ten and a five. “This is all I have,” she says. “But I need it back because I want to have money for the weekend.”
    â€œSure, thanks,” I reply. “I’m supposed to get my pay-check soon. I just want to leave the cash out for Mom tonight so the woman doesn’t start charging me interest.”
    â€œWouldn’t put it past her.” Lolly laughs again. “It’s like she keeps getting crazier and crazier.”
    â€œI know,” I say, “and it kind of worries me. What do you think it means for us?”
    â€œIt means we must help each other avoid becoming like our mother at all costs.”
    â€œDeal,” I say, holding out my pinky to seal the pact.
    â€œDeal,” Lolly says, joining her pinky to mine.

    I spend the rest of the night in my room thinking about Mr. Sands and his request. But the more I turn it over in my head, the more certain I become that I can’t do it; it’s wrong.
    It’s just wrong.
    I even manage to convince myself that he probably wants to take the question back. I’m sure he didn’t really mean for me, a fifteen-year-old smartass, to take him seriously. Unless he thought that only someone with my “attitude” would do something like this? No. No . He probably only asked the question because he was feeling depressed today, and I understand that. Who doesn’t have dark days? Who doesn’t get crazy ideas every now and again?
    You can’t act on them, though. You can’t, because what if you want to change your mind later? Plus, medical breakthroughs happen all the time. Who’s to say that they won’t find a cure for his disease tomorrow? And miracles. Miracles sometimes happen too.
    Being optimistic doesn’t come naturally to me, but I’m determined to remain positive. I come to my conclusion as I lie in bed: During my next shift at Hanover House on Thursday, I’ll give Mr. Sands his pills back and tell him he has to fight this. Things can and will get better. They have to. I won’t let myself think otherwise. I won’t let myself think about his illness. I can’t let him die. I can’t let him go.

Chapter Three
    W ednesday’s a big day at Harriton High School. It’s “VD day,” as Eric calls it: Varsity Decision day. The list of guys who make the varsity basketball squad goes up this afternoon, and I know how hugely important it is to him. Still, after the tryouts on Monday, I wanted to play it off like it was no big deal, like it’d probably be better if he didn’t make the team.
    â€œAppreciate the vote of confidence.” He grimaced, rubbing the bristles of his dirty blond crew cut back and forth and round and round. “You really don’t think I’m going to make the team, do you?”
    â€œThat’s not it. At. All,” I replied, even thought it sort of was. Like I said, optimism doesn’t come so easily to me. But I explained to Eric that if bad news comes and you’re not expecting it, it’s a double whammy. First, the bad news itself sucks, and then, when your legs are cut out from underneath you by surprise, it makes it that much harder to get back up again. So I suggested we meet up at Milk Bar, our favorite coffee shop, just in case he didn’t have to report to practice. Eric didn’t bother responding.
    â€œThat’s cool,” I said, “I’m