Giles Goat Boy Read Online Free

(spiritually)bearded undergraduates—of the sort more likely to steal than to purchase their reading matter—he remains unknown to most influential reviewers, not to mention the generality of book-buyers. In the remote event that he becomes a “great writer,” or even turns out to have been one all along, we still hold the copyright on those other losers of his, and can always reissue them. But no, the thing is as impossible as the plot of this book! He himself declares that nothing gets better, everything gets worse: he will merely grow older and crankier, more quirksome and less clever; his small renown will pass, his vitality become mere doggedness, or fail altogether. His dozen admirers will grow bored with him, his employers will cease to raise his salary and to excuse his academic and social limitations; his wife will lose her beauty, their marriage will founder, his children will grow up to be ashamed of their father. I see him at last alone, unhealthy, embittered, desperately unpleasant, perhaps masturbative, perhaps alcoholic or insane, if not a suicide. We all know the pattern.
    Editor
D
    Failed, failed, failed! I look about me, and everywhere see failure. Old moralists, young bootlickers, unsuccessful writers; has-beens, would-bes, never-weres; failed artists, failed editors, failed scholars and critics; failed husbands, fathers, lovers; failed minds, failed bodies, hearts, and souls—none of us is Passed, we all are Failed!
    It no longer matters to me whether the
Revised New Syllabus
is published, by this house or any other. What does the Answer care, whether anyone “finds” it? It wasn’t lost! The gold doesn’t ask to be mined, or the medicine beg to be taken; it’s not the medicine that’s worse off when the patient rejects it. As for the Doctor—who cares whether he starves or prospers? Let him go hungry, maybe he’ll prescribe again! Or let him die, we have prescription enough!
    Let him laugh, even, that I’ve swallowed in good faith the pill he made up as a hoax: I’m cured, the joke’s on him! One comes to understand that a certain hermit of the woods is no eccentric, but a Graduate, a Grand Tutor. From all the busy millions a handful seek him out, thinking to honor and sustain him; we bring him cash and frankincense, sing out his praises in four-part harmony, fetch him champagne and vichyssoise. Alas, our racket interrupts his musings and scares off the locusts he’d have suppered on; the wine makes him woozy, he upchucks the soup; he can’t smell the flowers for our perfume or hear the birds for our music, and there’s not a thing to spend his money on. No wonder he curses us under his breath, once he’s sober again! And thinking to revenge himself with a trick, he puts on a falseface to scare us away. We had asked for revelations; he palms off his maddest dreams. “Show us Beauty,” we plead; he bares his rump to us. “Show us Goodness,” we beg, and he mounts our wives and daughters. “Ah, sir!” we implore him, “Give us the Truth!” He thrusts up a forefinger from each temple and declares, “You are cuckolds all.”
    And yet I say the guller is gulled, hoist is the enginer: the joke’s on the joker, that’s the joker’s joke. Better victimized by Knowledge than succored by Ignorance; to be Wisdom’s prey is to be its ward. Deceived, we see our self-deception; suffering the lie, we come to truth, and in the knowledge of our failure hope to Pass.
    Publish the
Revised New Syllabus
or reject it; call it art or artifice, fiction, fact, or fraud: it doesn’t care, its author doesn’t care, and neither any longer do I. I don’t praise it, I don’t condemn it; I don’t ask who wrote it or whether it will sell or what the critics may make of it. My judgment is not upon the book but upon myself. I have read it. I here resign from my position with this house.
    One sees the diversity of opinion that confronted me (I do not even mention the disagreement among our legal staff