Get Smart 7 - Max Smart - The Spy Who Went Out to the Cold Read Online Free

for a hairpiece.”
    “When was that?” Max asked.
    “I can’t remember the exact date. But it was around the time when Lucky Lindy was taking off for Paris. How did he make out, anyway?”
    “He made it,” Max replied.
    Willowby tossed his beard into the air. “Hurrah for Lucky Lindy!” he shouted exultantly.
    “Willowby, I’ll tell you something about requests,” Max said. “By the time you get that hairpiece, you won’t need it. You’ll be in your second childhood, and you’ll be starting a new full head of hair of your own. But, listen, what are you doing over here in this passageway? You’re supposed to be in the tunnel that leads to the exit.”
    Willowby looked at him sadly. “You’re lost again, Max.”
    “ I’m lost!” Max said indignantly. “ You’re lost.”
    “I’ve been in this same spot for over one-hundred-and-fifty years. The only way I could get lost would be if the tunnels moved.”
    “Oh.”
    “You took the thumb again,” Willowby guessed.
    “All right, nevermind that,” Max said. “I have a more important problem right now. Have you seen anybody wandering around in here who looked like he needed a keeper?”
    “Besides you, you mean?”
    “I’m not going to dignify that question with an answer, Willowby,” Max replied. “This fellow I’m talking about is short and dumpy and—”
    “—and is looking for the post office,” Willowby said. “He stopped here just a few minutes ago.”
    “He was looking for the post office?” Max said, puzzled.
    “You must have used a key word, Max,” 99 guessed. “I wonder what it was?”
    “He probably wanted to mail a fan letter to Lucky Lindy,” Willowby said. “Ol’ Lindy is probably the toast of the town these days, eh?”
    “There hasn’t been a lot of fuss made over it lately, Willowby,” Max said. “That happened over forty years ago.”
    “Fame is fickle,” Willowby sighed sorrowfully. “They probably don’t remember Abe any more, either.”
    “As a matter of fact, they do,” Max said. “Every year, almost the whole country celebrates his birthday. To a lot of people, he’s a great hero.”
    Willowby looked surprised. “That’s more than I expected. All that for Abe Berkowitz?”
    “Berkowitz?”
    “He invented the buggywhip with the patented fox-skin grip.”
    “I had another Abe in mind,” Max said. “This one—”
    “Max,” 99 broke in. “What about Professor von BOOM?”
    “99, his name isn’t Abe. It’s Wormser.”
    “Max, what I mean is, shouldn’t we be looking for him?”
    “Oh . . . yes.” He addressed Willowby again. “Which way did he go?”
    “If you’re asking about that other dumpy little man who looked like he needed a keeper . . .” Willowby pointed straight up. “He went thataway.”
    Max peered up at the ceiling of the tunnel. “I find that a little hard to believe,” he said.
    “Would you believe that I directed him back to the elevator?” Willowby asked.
    “That makes a little more sense,” Max replied. He signalled to 99, then headed back through the tunnel.
    “If you see Lucky Lindy—” Willowby called after them “—tell him some of us still remember!”
    Max and 99 hurried back through the passageway to the elevator. When they reached it, Max punched the UP button, then they waited for the car to descend to their level.
    “I wonder if it was ‘hand?’ ” Max said, as they stood near the elevator doors.
    “If what was, Max?”
    “The key word.”
    “I don’t understand. What’s the connection between hand and post office?”
    “If you request it, 99, you can have your letters hand-stamped. That’s because sometimes when they’re machine-stamped the impression penetrates the envelope.”
    “Oh, I see—and the impression is stamped on whatever’s inside the envelope.”
    “Correct. For instance, if you were mailing a butterfly to someone and the envelope was machine-stamped, the butterfly might arrive with ‘Buy U.S. Savings Bonds’