Forget Me Not Read Online Free Page B

became common and more intense. As they became older and bigger, they learnt to fight back, but Dale would never forfeit his reign over the household.
    After their explosive arguments Jesse would seek sanctuary at my house and my parents would even insist on him staying over, on the couch of course. These occasions became so frequent that I knew it was only a matter of time before Jesse could take no more. 
    Begging got me nowhere. I begged Jesse to go to the police, physically on my knees begged him. He never would. He worried about what the consequences would be for his mother. So together, we decided that running away was the only option. We talked repeatedly about fleeing, mostly during the aftermath of one of their altercations. Running away became eloping to beautiful foreign lands, and the pain that was causing Jesse to want to leave evaporated from the anticipation of living a dream.
    But, we planned to do that together. It didn’t make sense for Jesse to then want to go it alone, especially without telling me first. No phone calls, no letter, no stones thrown at my window.
    I fooled myself into believing that the reason for his sudden departure was because he had to get away quickly not that he no longer wanted me to go with him. I held onto the dream of our romantic escape, trusting that once he had found somewhere safe for us he would be back.
    So, I waited. Hours turned into days, days turned into weeks, and when weeks turned into a month realization struck and my world fell apart. I had barely left my room during this period of denial. My bag was secretly packed and stashed under my bed, ready for a speedy getaway. I ate only enough to survive until Jesse could come for me. I shut down, both mentally and physically. I was terrified that my parents would try to keep me away from Jesse and so they became barriers for me to overcome. My friends were unnecessary distractions that I avoided at all costs, and so eventually they were lost. Except Emma, who never gave up.
    When understanding shook me from my defiant denial, I was exposed to a plethora of emotions. I was hounded by non-stop tears, tears for a lost boy in the big world. I knew that he had no other family, no friends outside of Starling. Where could he possibly go? I imagined him alone and hungry, unable to make his way back. There were tears for a relationship on hold. The unknown left me with grief that I couldn’t put a name too. Was this the end? I ached for him to caress me once more so that I could savor his last touch. There was no light, just dark. No feeling, except pain.
    After the tears came anger. I was burnt with pure fury that after two years he could just leave me like this. I gave him my everything. I believed that I was his everything . Irritation at my naivety festered inside of me, feeding off of the understanding that I’d been fooled. If he’d truly cared, then he would have shared his plans, or at least left me with some pitiful explanation for his leave. He didn’t care. I can’t believe that I ever fooled myself into thinking that he did. What a naive, stupid girl.
    After the anger had mellowed I became desperate for answers. Regardless of the manner in which he’d left, I had to know where he was and if he was okay. The hurt and anger were overshadowed by the unwavering love I still harbored for him, and I needed to know that he was safe. I clung to the hope that I’d find him, even if it was just to say goodbye. If I couldn’t have him, then I could at least have closure.
    I couldn't face going to NYU. What if he came back for me and I was miles away in New York? Instead, I enrolled at a local college and came back home every night, listening for my Jesse and the promise of his stones. I could never give up on the hope that one day, we would be reunited.
    Tears have spilled from my eyes, causing the ink to blur as they fall onto the back page of my yearbook. He left me. He didn't look back. I waited for far too long and he