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any way, he would stop paying for college…for everything.”
                  “What?!” I gasp. This can’t be. My father was the one person other than Ryan who knew just how important my education was to me. It was my one way, the only way, really, for me to escape our small town and make something of myself. 
                  I wish I could doubt his words, but I know that Ryan is telling the truth. It makes sense. My father knew that Ryan would simply vanish so that I could get the college degree that was so important to me. He used whatever means necessary to keep us apart. I feel the bile churn in my stomach as I realize my father was just like everyone in our town, turning against Ryan without even asking what could have driven him to commit such a heinous crime. A tear slides down my cheek and Ryan brushes it away with his thumb. I look up at him.              
                  “Ryan, I don’t even know where to begin. I-”
                  He shakes his head, silencing me. “Don’t,” he says. “It’s all behind us.”
                  Though I’m thrilled to hear him use the word ‘us,’ I can’t help but wonder why he’s not bitter, angry…something.
                  “But why aren’t you…I don’t know…pissed?  Resentful?...Something!  I wasn’t there for you…and I should have been.”
                  He turns to me and looks me in the eye. “Becs,” he says softly. “None of it matters. You’re here now and that’s all I care about.”
                  I nod in agreement. “But is that all that matters? I mean, how can you ever forgive me? I never saw you after you were taken away. God, you must have been furious with me, thinking I’d abandoned you or something.”
                  He turns to face me and cradles my cheek in his hand. “It doesn’t matter what I thought then. Just forget about all of it. The only thing I care about now is that you’re here…with me.”
                  “But you were angry with me, weren’t you?” This is how I’ve always been, pushing those around me to come clean with the fact that I annoyed them in some way. Their confession has always been my own personal penance. I feel the tears come to my eyes, knowing how scared he must have been, how alone he must have felt, how angry he must have been thinking I was like all the others who suddenly couldn’t bear the site of him.
                  He releases a tiny sigh and then he nods. It’s almost imperceptible, but it’s there nonetheless. 
                  “Ryan, I am so sorry. That’s why I had to find you…to tell you that…to beg you to forgive me…”
                  Suddenly his arms are around me, cradling me. “There’s nothing to forgive. Becca, you were sixteen years old. You had no choice. You had to do as your father told you to.”
                  “I know,” I reply, speaking into the crook of his neck. “But I should have done something!  I should have defied him, made him see how much you meant to me.”
                  “I’m sure he knows. Otherwise, he wouldn’t have said what he did, right?”
                  “I guess not,” I reply, curling up into his arms.
                  “I do have one question, though,” he whispers into my hair.
                  “Yeah?”
                  “Why now? I mean, on some level, I always knew we’d find each other again, but why now?”
                  It is then that I recall my reasons for seeking him out and I feel the tension snake its way around my shoulders and settle.
                  It never occurred to me that we’d rip each other’s clothes off before we had a chance to talk. 
     
     
     
    Chapter 5
                  Ryan is looking at