For Goodness Sex Read Online Free
Author: Alfred Vernacchio
pleasure as a means to build intimacy and connection with another, and who live their lives not fearing mistakes but using them as lessons to reorient themselves toward success. Impossible, you think? I’ve seen it happen year after year with my students—and I’m just their teacher. Think about how much more amazing they will be when their parents believe this too.
----
Question Box
I n the back corner of my classroom is an old shoebox with a hole cut into the top of it. Next to the box are scraps of paper and some pencils. This is the Question Box, a place where kids can drop any question they have about human sexuality. I answer the questions both during class time and on a blog I maintain at school.
At the end of each chapter, I’ll include some actual questions from students and my answers to them. I haven’t done any fancy editing of the questions or answers. I’m including the actual questions as kids asked them and my unedited response to them. I do this for a couple of reasons. First, I want you to see what kind of questions kids are actually asking. They run the gamut from innocent to downright technical. I also want to model answering these questions, to show you how I approach a topic, and how even a simple question allows for both information and value clarification to be offered in response. So here are a few general questions from the box to get us started:
Q: Why is sex so good?
A: There are two ways to answer this question. From the biological perspective, sex feels good for an important evolutionary reason. If a species, like ours, is going to reproduce sexually, then there’s an advantage if that action also feels good. As I’ve often said, if sex felt like getting your tooth drilled at the dentist, people wouldn’t have it very often, and that could eventually threaten the survival of our species. Our bodies have evolved so that our genital regions, as well as many, many other parts of the body, are sensitive to sexual stimulation. A part of the body that brings sexual pleasure when stimulated is called an erogenous zone . This does not mean just our genitals. All of us have many places on our bodies that result in sexual pleasure when stimulated. Knowing your own and your partner’s erogenous zones can lead to much more fulfilling sexual experiences. The mechanisms of sexual pleasure involve a combination of nerve impulses, blood flow, and muscle tension. To find out more about this, you might Google the phrase “human sexual response cycle” and look at the work of Masters and Johnson, two famous sex researchers who studied the body changes that happen when people get sexually excited.
The second reason sex feels good is that humans have developed the emotional capacity to feel love, intimacy, and passion. These emotional states highlight and deepen sexual pleasure. While pleasure can exist without these emotions, it is much more significant when they are present.
Q: When is someone emotionally and physically ready for sex?
A: I wish I had an answer that would be right for all people at all times, but the real answer is “it depends.” We are all unique individuals, and our relationships are all unique. Because of that, there can’t be a standard answer to this question. Wouldn’t it be great if we could say, “The Thursday following your sixth date is the most appropriate day to start having sex”? But, of course, that’s not the way it works.
I think it’s appropriate to start being sexually active with a sweetheart (and remember: I define sexually active as being involved with someone else’s body for the purpose of giving and receiving sexual pleasure) when intimacy, commitment, and passion are established and both people have pretty equal amounts of these feelings for each other. I don’t think these things develop quickly, so I don’t think sexual activity is appropriate on a first date or early in a new relationship. I also think people aren’t ready to become
----
Question Box
I n the back corner of my classroom is an old shoebox with a hole cut into the top of it. Next to the box are scraps of paper and some pencils. This is the Question Box, a place where kids can drop any question they have about human sexuality. I answer the questions both during class time and on a blog I maintain at school.
At the end of each chapter, I’ll include some actual questions from students and my answers to them. I haven’t done any fancy editing of the questions or answers. I’m including the actual questions as kids asked them and my unedited response to them. I do this for a couple of reasons. First, I want you to see what kind of questions kids are actually asking. They run the gamut from innocent to downright technical. I also want to model answering these questions, to show you how I approach a topic, and how even a simple question allows for both information and value clarification to be offered in response. So here are a few general questions from the box to get us started:
Q: Why is sex so good?
A: There are two ways to answer this question. From the biological perspective, sex feels good for an important evolutionary reason. If a species, like ours, is going to reproduce sexually, then there’s an advantage if that action also feels good. As I’ve often said, if sex felt like getting your tooth drilled at the dentist, people wouldn’t have it very often, and that could eventually threaten the survival of our species. Our bodies have evolved so that our genital regions, as well as many, many other parts of the body, are sensitive to sexual stimulation. A part of the body that brings sexual pleasure when stimulated is called an erogenous zone . This does not mean just our genitals. All of us have many places on our bodies that result in sexual pleasure when stimulated. Knowing your own and your partner’s erogenous zones can lead to much more fulfilling sexual experiences. The mechanisms of sexual pleasure involve a combination of nerve impulses, blood flow, and muscle tension. To find out more about this, you might Google the phrase “human sexual response cycle” and look at the work of Masters and Johnson, two famous sex researchers who studied the body changes that happen when people get sexually excited.
The second reason sex feels good is that humans have developed the emotional capacity to feel love, intimacy, and passion. These emotional states highlight and deepen sexual pleasure. While pleasure can exist without these emotions, it is much more significant when they are present.
Q: When is someone emotionally and physically ready for sex?
A: I wish I had an answer that would be right for all people at all times, but the real answer is “it depends.” We are all unique individuals, and our relationships are all unique. Because of that, there can’t be a standard answer to this question. Wouldn’t it be great if we could say, “The Thursday following your sixth date is the most appropriate day to start having sex”? But, of course, that’s not the way it works.
I think it’s appropriate to start being sexually active with a sweetheart (and remember: I define sexually active as being involved with someone else’s body for the purpose of giving and receiving sexual pleasure) when intimacy, commitment, and passion are established and both people have pretty equal amounts of these feelings for each other. I don’t think these things develop quickly, so I don’t think sexual activity is appropriate on a first date or early in a new relationship. I also think people aren’t ready to become
Readers choose
Janet Dailey
Patricia Puddle
David Zimmerman
Tracey Warr
Belle Chastain
James Lee Burke
Donna Richards
Dave Margoshes
Margaret Drabble
Rebecca Sherwin