Floods 8 Read Online Free Page A

very old fish smell.’

    â€˜What about the people?’ said Mordonna.
    â€˜How are they?’
    â€˜All bald and very old fish smell too,’ said Parsnip.
    â€˜Everyone?’
    â€˜Snipsnip not actually look at everyone.’
    â€˜Well, go and have another look,’ said Mordonna.
    Winchflat gave the bird a tiny two-way radio. ‘You can report back with this,’ he said.
    â€˜Snipsnip do wreckonay, umm reconum, i-spy-ey thing,’ said the old bird and flew off.

    Meanwhile, Betty slid down a drainpipe, crept past the dustbins and down into the castle kitchens. The reek of boiled cabbage was so strong it turned the air green. Huge saucepans bubbled on the ranges and every single one appeared to be full of cabbages and nothing else – all except the last one, which was full of brussels sprouts.
    â€˜Aren’t they sweet?’ said a small boy about Betty’s age.
    The boy was the lowest member of thekitchen staff. He was so low that he wasn’t even allowed to have a name and was simply referred to as ‘Oi you’. His job was to scan every cabbage for caterpillars and then eat them. Birds eat caterpillars and thrive on them because they are full of protein. Transylvania Waters caterpillars are not full of protein. They are full of runny stuff that tastes like very old cabbage.
    â€˜Aren’t what sweet?’ said Betty.
    â€˜The little baby cabbages.’
    â€˜Where are all the other vegetables and the meat?’ said Betty. ‘Are they in a different kitchen?’
    â€˜What’s meat?’
    â€˜Well, umm … oh, I get it, the King’s a vegetarian,’ said Betty.
    â€˜What’s a vegetarian?’ said the boy.
    When Betty explained, he was even more confused. It seemed that the King was not a vegetarian and it seemed that the range of vegetables and fruit on offer was cabbages and other cabbages and more cabbages.
    â€˜And the baby cabbages,’ said the boy.
    And when Betty looked closer at the other kitchen servants she realised that it wasn’t just the air that was green, it was all the people too.
    â€˜So the only thing you ever have to eat is boiled cabbage,’ she said.
    â€˜No, of course not,’ said the boy. ‘We have baby cabbages too and fried cabbage and pickled cabbage and cabbage coleslaw and … and, umm, err, cabbage stew and at Christmas we have red cabbage and cabbage stalk wine.’
    â€˜And is that what everyone eats, even the King?’
    â€˜Well, yes, of course,’ said the boy.
    It was obvious that Transylvania Waters had become an even more wretched place to live than it had been when Mordonna and Nerlin had run away. Mordonna had told Betty about the great feasts they used to have in the castle – and not just in the castle, but all over the country. There were quail’s eggs, white caviar, mushrooms as wide as tables and twenty-three-layer chocolate cakes with fresh strawberries and cream between every layer.Queen Scratchrot had talked about the wonderful meals too, and had even brought a few of her old cookery books with her, containing incredible recipes that were more like works of art than cooking instructions. Transylvania Waters may have been a damp, mould-infested country with spies and secret agents at every corner, but the food had always been its saving grace.
    Yet now, all there seemed to be to eat was cabbages.
    â€˜It’s different on Fridays,’ said the boy. ‘We don’t eat grown-up or baby cabbages on Fridays.’
    â€˜What do you eat then?’
    â€˜Nothing. Oh no, that’s not true. Sometimes we eat our own toenails.’
    Something didn’t add up. Transylvania Waters was a country full of wizards, so why couldn’t they just do some spells to make any sort of food they wanted? Before Betty could ask anyone, there was an almighty crash and the kitchen door flew open so hard that the whole room and everyone inside it