Flesheaters and Bloodsuckers Anonymous: A Dark Humor Read Online Free

lives as day dwellers.”  A
round of clapping sprang up at the man’s words.  He smiled and took part in it
too, then held up his hands until silence fell on the group, but a loud, wet
snort erupted from one of the members. 
                “Those two better
get an SPF 3,000.  Can anyone say crispy?”  A couple of members laughed, and
then quickly muffled it behind their hands. 
                Donald’s smile
dropped as he turned to the speaker, who was to Harold’s amazement a slug, the
slug from the fed’s photographs, a giant slug.  Holy Toledo. 
                “Now, now we’re
all going to have to be supportive of each other.  We want to succeed.  Short
quips aren’t going to help.”
                The slug
straightened to its full three feet height and eyed the man with one lone
eyestalk.  The other had disappeared into its head.  “Is that a remark about my
height?”
                The man gave his
little smile again.  “Not at all, simply a reminder.  It takes an open mind and
supportive nature to make the complete transition.”     
                The slug made a
sound deep in its gullet.  “Speaking of open,” it swiveled its eye stalks
around until they stared directly at Harold.  He felt slow crimson
embarrassment rise up.  “Why doesn’t the new guy come out in the open with the
rest of us?”
                Most of the rest
of the group turned to look in Harold’s direction too. 
                He dumbly realized
the others must have surely known he was watching them.  Hell, a few of them
were vamps.  They could probably smell and see him standing there, like a
pervert, in the dark.  He wasn’t used to dealing with other infecteds, at least
not outside of a hospital. 
                “Who is it?”
Asked Donald with widened eyes.  He looked in the same direction as the rest of
the group, but stared blindly into the darkness. 
                He groaned. 
Well, it was one way to make an entrance. 
                Harold skulked
towards the group from the dark pallet alley.  Brighter lights above the
clearing burned his eyes and he held a hand up to shield them.  It was almost
as bright as daylight in the clearing.
                “Oh ho!” Donald
exclaimed and rushed forward much faster than expected to grab Harold’s cold
hand.  Reacting purely on instinct, Harold snarled at the idiot and bared his
teeth.  In a flash, two others from the group were up and between them.  The
stinking wereman from earlier had Harold by the front shirt.  His open jaws
inches from Harold’s throat. 
                “Now, now
Rufus.”  Donald came up and smacked at the wolf’s fist curled up in Harold’s
shirt. “Remember, how you were when you first came to the group.  This is our
newest member, Harold.”  He smacked lightly at the wereman’s fist again and the
wereman gave away with a little snarl of his own. 
                “Down boy, down,”
Donald said lightly.  For the first time, he had a real smile to show one of
the members of group.  He chortled a bit and urged the others to back off from
a petrified Harold, who may have momentarily lost bladder control, but wasn’t
about to open his trench coat to check. 
                “My name is
Donald.  You could call me the group leader around here, but we all really help
each other, you know.”  Donald slipped an arm around Harold’s back and urged
him towards group.  “We don’t bite you know, well, most of us.  A few members
of our group are as yourself, just beginning their paths.”
                Harold’s teeth
ached a little and his stomach turned in on itself, reminding him yet again he
was hungry; he was standing right next to a flesh and blood human being,
standing right next to a late lunch.  Only the thirty pairs of eyes centered on
them