Five Minutes More Read Online Free

you were,” I say. That much is true.
    He puts his arm around me, and I put my head on his shoulder with my cheek against the smooth fabric of his suit jacket. “How can people eat?” I ask him. “How can they stand there and say how bad they feel and shovel in potato salad at the same time?”
    He shrugs. “I don’t know. Maybe they don’t know what else to do.”
    â€œIt’s like one of those dreams where nothing makes sense. You know it’s a dream, but you can’t wake up.”
    â€œYeah. I know it doesn’t seem real. Your dad was a good driver.”
    My heart is pounding so hard I think for sure Brendan will hear it. I haven’t told him. Every time I start to tell him what the police said, something else comes out of my mouth. And it’s not really a lie because maybe they’re wrong. Maybe it was just an accident.
    Brendan pulls me against him and wraps both arms around me. “It’s gonna be all right,” he whispers. He rubs his chin against the top of my hair.
    No, it isn’t, but how can he understand that? How can anybody?
    I mumble something. I have no idea what, but it can’t have been too weird because Brendan just gives me another hug. I press harder into his arms and try to get some of his warmth into me.
    â€œHey, you’re shaking.” He touches my face. “Jeez, D’Arcy, you’re freezing. C’mon. You’ll be sick if you stay out here much longer. You don’t have to go back inside. We can sit in the car.”
    I look up at him. I see the way he’s holding his mouth, how muscles in his jaw pop out because he’s grinding his back teeth. He wants everybody to be happy all the time.
    â€œIt’s okay,” I say. “I should go in.”
    â€œYou sure?”
    â€œI’m sure.”
    Brendan walks me back to the house. His parents are by their car across the street, talking to another couple.
    â€œYou better go,” I say.
    â€œI don’t have to.”
    I love him, but I don’t want to watch him worry about me. I pull the cuffs of my dad’s sweater down over my fingers. “I’m really tired. It’s okay. You go home.”
    He studies my face for a moment. “All right. I’ll call you later though.” He kisses me quickly on the mouth. “I love you,” he says.
    I nod.
    In the porch I hang the sweater back on its hook and straighten my father’s boots so they’re both facing forward. I take a deep breath. I can do this. I just won’t think about any of it for now.

six
    Inside, everyone’s gone. Mom’s in the kitchen, stacking dirty plates on the counter. She half turns when I walk in. “D’Arcy, there you are. Where have you been?”
    â€œI haven’t been anywhere. I just went outside for a minute to get some air.”
    It’s only half a lie, which I guess is better than a whole one. Maybe not to God though. Maybe he keeps track of all the half lies, adds them up, and pretty soon you’re in just as much trouble as if you’d been telling whole lies. I don’t care if that’s how God works. He may not like what I’ve been doing, but I don’t like what he’s been doing lately either.
    Mom is gathering glasses and cups. “Sit, Mom,” I say, steering her toward the table. I have to do better. “I’ll do these.”
    â€œI don’t mind,” she says.
    â€œNo. Sit. I’m going to put the kettle on and make you a cup of tea.”
    â€œI think there’s some left. I can have that.”
    I touch the pot. “You can’t drink that. It’s cold. Besides, it’s the hard stuff.” She almost manages a smile.
    I fill the kettle and set it on a back burner. When I turn she’s on her feet again, picking up crumpled napkins from the table. “Mom, I’ll do that in a minute. C’mon, sit. Please?” I toss the napkins in the