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You wouldn't be in this position if you had.”
Savannah sulked, her shoulders sinking.God . How was it she got herself into these situations? How was she going to face him?
Maybe a comet would wipe out humanity before she had to worry about it.
One could hope.
* * * *
In the months since Daniel had shattered her heart, Savannah had come to an understanding about love, life, and herself. The fog had dissipated, and after her tears had dried, she'd realized what a prized pig her first love had turned out to be. How he'd used her. How he'd played her fragile, teenage, first-love emotions to a conclusion he'd thought would end with her in a tangle in his bed before he shoved her out the door. And even though she'd loved him—in her own, naive way—a small, Wesley-voiced part of her had always known what he really was, and thus had held her back from completely giving herself over. The reason she hadn't allowed him to get to second base with her stood as testament to that much, as did the reason she'd fabricated a curfew, the reason she'd called Wesley after every date so he could talk her down and calm her into sleep. Some part of her, some small, secret part, had always known. Always.
It had never seemed real. She hadn't wanted to see it, but it hadn't seemed real. She'd wanted to believe the fantasy.
In the end, she hadn't even liked Daniel. She'd loved him blindly, but she hadn't liked him.
Not the way she liked Wesley. She hadn't chatted for hours with Daniel every night the way she did Wesley. She hadn't looked forward to seeing Daniel at school as she did Wesley. She hadn't trusted Daniel with anything, whereas she trusted Wesley with everything. Daniel hadn't been able to make her laugh like Wesley could. Daniel had no grasp of a greater world; when their literature class had readHamlet , he'd spent the entire unit thinking Ophelia was an STD.
Wesley lived as a walking encyclopedia; he had a reference for everything, but he didn't rub it in anyone's face. He barely let that side of himself out.
Unless they were together.
How in God's name had she never seen it before? How had she not seen Wesley as an amazing man? She'd always known he was wonderful, of course, but as a friend…not as a man.
Not as someone with whom she could see herself as a part of a couple, even though she'd never truly considered anything else.
It sure as hell made for an awkward day at school. Normally Savannah and Wesley were inseparable. Whether they passed notes in the hall, mouthed words to each other in shared classes, or expressed an entire thought with the mere arch of a brow or narrowing of the eyes, they rarely made it through the day without speaking. On occasion Allison had served as middleman to deliver messages in code. Perhaps the extremes were severe, but neither Wesley nor Savannah cared. They enjoyed their relationship in all its facets: the serious and the excessively goofy.
Not seeking Wesley out felt strange enough; actively avoiding him felt downright weird. But Savannah couldn't fathom meeting his eyes today. Pretending life as she knew it had not turned on its head would only confuse things more, and Lord knew she needed none of that.
Especially after last night.
I'm in love with my best friend.
She'd tried convincing herself of a thousand different things after her phone conversation with Allison, but the more she debated, the more the hole around her deepened. Every time she thought about Wesley now, blood filled her cheeks, her head became light, and her heart pounded so hard, her chest hurt. And now she'd cocked everything up with something that had seemed innocent when the notion first flitted into her head…and then she'd bothered him about it until he caved.
He'd warned her… Sex changed things.
I thought we were supposed to actually have it before things changed.
She saw no good way to proceed. Ignoring Wesley just made her
Savannah sulked, her shoulders sinking.God . How was it she got herself into these situations? How was she going to face him?
Maybe a comet would wipe out humanity before she had to worry about it.
One could hope.
* * * *
In the months since Daniel had shattered her heart, Savannah had come to an understanding about love, life, and herself. The fog had dissipated, and after her tears had dried, she'd realized what a prized pig her first love had turned out to be. How he'd used her. How he'd played her fragile, teenage, first-love emotions to a conclusion he'd thought would end with her in a tangle in his bed before he shoved her out the door. And even though she'd loved him—in her own, naive way—a small, Wesley-voiced part of her had always known what he really was, and thus had held her back from completely giving herself over. The reason she hadn't allowed him to get to second base with her stood as testament to that much, as did the reason she'd fabricated a curfew, the reason she'd called Wesley after every date so he could talk her down and calm her into sleep. Some part of her, some small, secret part, had always known. Always.
It had never seemed real. She hadn't wanted to see it, but it hadn't seemed real. She'd wanted to believe the fantasy.
In the end, she hadn't even liked Daniel. She'd loved him blindly, but she hadn't liked him.
Not the way she liked Wesley. She hadn't chatted for hours with Daniel every night the way she did Wesley. She hadn't looked forward to seeing Daniel at school as she did Wesley. She hadn't trusted Daniel with anything, whereas she trusted Wesley with everything. Daniel hadn't been able to make her laugh like Wesley could. Daniel had no grasp of a greater world; when their literature class had readHamlet , he'd spent the entire unit thinking Ophelia was an STD.
Wesley lived as a walking encyclopedia; he had a reference for everything, but he didn't rub it in anyone's face. He barely let that side of himself out.
Unless they were together.
How in God's name had she never seen it before? How had she not seen Wesley as an amazing man? She'd always known he was wonderful, of course, but as a friend…not as a man.
Not as someone with whom she could see herself as a part of a couple, even though she'd never truly considered anything else.
It sure as hell made for an awkward day at school. Normally Savannah and Wesley were inseparable. Whether they passed notes in the hall, mouthed words to each other in shared classes, or expressed an entire thought with the mere arch of a brow or narrowing of the eyes, they rarely made it through the day without speaking. On occasion Allison had served as middleman to deliver messages in code. Perhaps the extremes were severe, but neither Wesley nor Savannah cared. They enjoyed their relationship in all its facets: the serious and the excessively goofy.
Not seeking Wesley out felt strange enough; actively avoiding him felt downright weird. But Savannah couldn't fathom meeting his eyes today. Pretending life as she knew it had not turned on its head would only confuse things more, and Lord knew she needed none of that.
Especially after last night.
I'm in love with my best friend.
She'd tried convincing herself of a thousand different things after her phone conversation with Allison, but the more she debated, the more the hole around her deepened. Every time she thought about Wesley now, blood filled her cheeks, her head became light, and her heart pounded so hard, her chest hurt. And now she'd cocked everything up with something that had seemed innocent when the notion first flitted into her head…and then she'd bothered him about it until he caved.
He'd warned her… Sex changed things.
I thought we were supposed to actually have it before things changed.
She saw no good way to proceed. Ignoring Wesley just made her
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