Family Ties (Hidden Secrets) Read Online Free

enjoying life.  But that is the way I would enjoy life, in the arms of the man I loved more than anything watching our children grow.
    How could I ever have that?  Men saw me as sex on legs and then there was the Kyle factor.  There was never going to be a man that wants me for me. There would never be a man to look past my celebrity status and see the woman that just so badly wanted to be loved.  Carson ’s hand ran across my cheek.
    “ Hey, there’s something wrong Mars.  You never cry… ever.  You can talk to me.  I’m always here for you,” he said with such tenderness I felt the tears slip a little faster.
    I looked between Carson and Colleen and suddenly the pain from what I knew I could never have became overwhelming. 
    “ I want a family.  I want love.  I want a happily ever after, but I will never get that. Do you know how hard it is to find a guy out there that doesn’t look at me as Mary ‘Songbird’ Williams?”
    “ Hun, he is out there.  What about Nate?  I think he really likes you , Mars.”
    “ He does ask about you a lot,” Colleen chimes in.
    “ He doesn’t like me, like you think.  I’ve been in… Do you know what he said to me the first time I slept with him?”  I saw the anger in Carson’s eyes flare. “He said ‘I can’t believe my dick is going to be inside Mary fucking Williams. The guys are going to shit.’ Now tell me again that he likes me , Carson.” I hissed.
    “ Why would you sleep with him if he said that, Mare?  What have you been in?” He asked in a raised voice.
    “ Because I watched Kayla in a state that I never want to ever see her in again.  I was shaken and scared and I just wanted to forget what I saw.  You didn’t see her Carson. She was…” my voice trailed off and tears started falling again.
    Carson wrapped me in his arms and tried to calm me down. The buzzer from the gate filled the strained silence that now settled over the room.  Colleen went and answered the intercom while Carson continued to try to calm me.  The tears wouldn’t stop.
    “ You should have seen her.  Carson she was so…” I cried harder into his chest.
    “ She’s okay now, Mars.  Kayla is able to be herself finally and she doesn’t have to look over her shoulder anymore.  You will find yours, Mars.  I found mine when I least expected it.  You will too.  I promise, Mars. I promise.” He whispered in my ear.
    Suddenly Nate comes running into the room directly towards me, “What ’s wrong?” He says, pulling me out of Carson’s arms and into his.
    Without hesitation, I punched him in the face. “SHIT! What the hell was that for?” He groaned and stumbled backwards.
    “Angel, you need to lie down.  Let’s give them some privacy.  I’ll put you to bed,” he winks.
    Colleen giggles and they left the room.
    Nate looked at me.  “What’s going on Mare?”
    “ You! You are what’s going on!”
    “ Me what?” He said, irritated.
    I go into a big rant about my goals and dreams and how I ’m never going to get that when suddenly Nate grabs me and kisses me on the lips.  He holds me to him with his hand tangled in my hair and the other wrapped around my waist.  For a moment, I just enjoyed the kiss.  For a moment, I let myself believe that he was different.  But when he growled how much he needed me while pushing his hips into me, I knew I had to stop it. Breaking away from the kiss, I tried to push away, but Nate held me firmly.
    “ All this is,” I say, gesturing between us. “Nate, is physical.  I need emotional too.”
    “ Mare, I can’t stop thinking about you. The…”
    “ Have you slept with other women since we were together?”
    “ Yeah,” he looks at me confused.
    “ Then that is your answer.  It’s physical.  I won’t deny its smoldering, but that is all it is Nate… sex.  If you were in love with me there would have been no other girls.  It’s the idea of who I am and the knowledge that we did have awesome sex.