the same old summer ho-hum clothes.â
âNow now, donât be so unduly. Whatever. Been hitting this nutritious green wine a Hungarian friend sent over and I think too much. But that you wore shoes instead of sneakers is a positive sign of nattier garments to come.â
âHow fancy,â touching the aluminum coatrack. âYours?â
âRented, as is the fur coat you see on it, to make the best impression on my very impressive guests, though Iâm not impressed. Your umbrella isnât that ratty to embarrass me, so leave it in the holder, though I canât guarantee itâll be there when you leave.â
âIâll take another then.â
âDonât you dare. Only the guests I donât know or who can afford it are allowed to be thieves.â
I stick the umbrella into the holder, hang up my coat while sheâs looking me over and nodding at my pants and shaking her head at my shirt, and hold out the flowers. âFor you.â
âBut I have no spare vases.â
âHardly the gracious way of accepting.â
âIâm sorry. Iâm sure theyâre beautiful, few and smell nice too. But the person who plans to present them should think beforehand of the harried hostess and myriad problems sheâs apt to have with her party and that all her vases and hands will probably be filled. But what are we indulging in all this small hallway talk for? Usually you just kiss and are quickly in the room for a drink and by now my time should be too occupied for even a lingering hello and Iâm getting worried itâs not. Ah, thereâs the bell. Give a kiss, then get in there and ring them in. First left in the kitchen, and before you get a drink. First press the button marked T. Ask whoâs there. Then release that button and listen while you press the L-button and then ring the R-button to let whoever it is in.â
âWhat should I L for?â
âJust if someone says itâs Harry, David or Andrei. If he says heâs a crazed razor-blade wielder whoâs going to slice up us all, donât ring him in. But go. Quick. Kiss. Theyâre ringing again. And find anything but an empty applesauce jar for your beautiful flowers,â and she gives them to me and I kiss her cheek and go inside. Bellâs ringing. I press the T-button and say âHello?â and release it and listen and donât hear anything and bell rings and Diana yells âWhat are you doing, Dan?â and I press the button and say âYes?â and release it and press the L-button and a man says âVelchetski and friend,â and I ring him in. I take my sweater off, put it on top of the coatrack and see Diana leaning over the banister. âGrisha, how are you?âup here,â and I suppose itâs Grisha who says âI canât see you but can only imagine your loveliness face from below and I feel simply great. Send me the elevator.â
âFor two short flights?â
âThese are not short. Only my legs and breath are, which make the stairs long. But you have no elevator car, donât lie to me,â and something in Russian, âbut I will still walk upstairs.â
âDan,â Diana says, âyou must meet this madman, but first plant those.â I didnât know I still held them. Maybe I put them down, picked them up when I came out here. I go into the kitchen. Bell rings. I press it, put the wrapped flowers in a tall glass of water, get a glass of green wine at the bar, go to the cheese table and slice a piece of brie and introduce myself. Phil and his wife Jane. Bell rings. âTranslate,â I say. âIâll get it,â someone says near the kitchen. âSculptors,â Phil says. âThat so? What do you sculpt, or what with?â âRubber,â Jane says. âPlastic,â Phil says, âbut I really hate those questions, for my own idiosyncratic reasons, but understand why