Every Man a Menace Read Online Free

final time,” said Shadrack. “What services are you offering?”
    “I’m just a friend. Someone to help, help make sure everything goes smooth.”
    “Like a helper?”
    “Exactly,” said Raymond.
    “Oh,” Shadrack said. “I see. Hold on.” He jumped up and left the room. Raymond looked at the door, then at the shotgun; he thought about walking out, but something told him to stay. He took a deep breath and tried to relax.
    Shadrack came back into the room. He stood in front of Raymond and held out a bottle of Visine. “Open your mouth,” he said.
    “Nah, I’m good,” said Raymond.
    “Open up, friend!”
    “What is it?”
    “It’s LSD. Come on. Open up.”
    “I got a piss test next week,” Raymond told him.
    “They don’t screen for acid,” Shadrack said. “Come on, punk.” He was smiling now; Raymond saw his teeth. They were gapped and pointed, the molars capped in gold.
    “Look, it ain’t nothing,” he said, squeezing a few drops into his own mouth. “Now open your damn mouth. We gotta celebrate your ass getting sprung.”
    Raymond opened his mouth. Shadrack squeezed the bottle so that a solid squirt hit Raymond’s tongue. He tried to spit it out.
    “No, don’t spit it out!” Shadrack yelled. He jumped around, laughing. He jumped on Raymond and hugged him. “You a crazy son of a bitch!” Shadrack said. “You’re fucking crazy!”
    Shadrack wanted to go to a party after that. He let Raymond put his own clothes back on, and then he got himself dressed: black pants and a wrinkled black suit coat over a white V-neck T-shirt. He sprayed some hair spray into his hair, ate gum, gave Raymond gum, grabbed a black doctor’s bag, and led them downstairs to the garage.
    “You sure you should be driving?” Raymond asked.
    “Sometimes I am, sometimes I’m not,” he answered.
    Shadrack’s car, a silver Toyota, was so normal looking that Raymond’s mind was put somewhat at ease. He couldn’t feel the drugs yet, but despite his nervousness he felt somehow happy, too. They were getting along. They were friendly now. He would be able to handle this job after all. Shadrack pulled the garage door open and the outside world—cold air, concrete, and street light—was suddenly right there.
    They got in the car and fastened their seat belts. Shadrack slowly backed out, watching carefully to make sure the mirrors stayed clear of the door. Raymond asked again if he was sure he could drive, and Shadrack said he could do it with his eyes closed.
    They worked their way down Mission Street. Raymond was still just nervy, not high, but the neighborhood had taken on a more festive atmosphere. The people looked happy, dressed up; bright colors and music seemed to be coming from everywhere. Even the bums were laughing. Shadrack was driving with a focused expression on his face. It seemed, to Raymond, like a perfect way to celebrate getting released from the penitentiary.
    The party was right off Dolores Park. “This man you’re gonna meet is a true child of the Seven Gods,” Shadrack said,once they’d parked. Raymond couldn’t tell if he meant it or not. They walked up a steep hill to reach the house, which to Raymond seemed like a pleasantly odd thing to do. He breathed in deep. His chest felt open. The drugs were setting in.
    He hadn’t taken acid since he was a teenager. The house looked like a palace, looming straight up from the sidewalk three stories high, its surfaces new and clean. Shadrack rang the bell and pointed at a camera above it. Raymond felt a shyness pass over him.
    A voice came on the speaker. It sounded like a man pretending to be a woman.
    “Who is it?”
    “Special delivery,” said Shadrack, looking into the camera.
    They stood there and waited. Shadrack set his bag on the ground, ran his hands through his hair, took a deep breath.
    The door swung open so fast that Raymond almost had to jump back. A regular-looking guy, a businessman, stood on the other side. He wore a blue