Etiquette for a Dinner Party Read Online Free Page B

edges.
    'What's the problem — is it injured?' Jack leaned forward and gently lifted the bird out of the box. He lifted one wing, then the other, checking them over for damage.
    'Nup. It's a pigeon,' said Roly, grinning away. 'A racing pigeon. Thought you might enter it in the competitions, have a bit of fun with it.'
    'Christ almighty. Where'd you get it?' The bird sat calmly in Jack's hands, black eye watching him.
    'At the saleyards today. Old fella had it, said it was a great racing bird. Said his wife had got sick of the whole scene and he had to give the game up. He was giving her away, so I grabbed her for you.'
    Roly smiled at me. Wanker.
    'Cheers, mate. What the hell do you do with them?' Jack passed the bird to me. It crapped into my lap.
    'Buggered if I know.' Roly went into the house, then came out with a beer in his hand. 'It's a girl, and her name's Velocity, the old guy said. He named her after the fastest pigeon to deliver mail between Auckland and Great Barrier Island, back whenever.'
    'Shit, is that right?' Jack was impressed. He always liked to hear about animals' achievements.
    'Yep. First ever pigeon airmail service in the world, apparently.'
    'Jeez. Amazing, eh?' Jack stroked the pigeon's head again.
    'Yeah, sure is.' Roly took a swig from the bottle, then clunked it against Jack's. 'Happy birthday,' he said.
    Next morning Jack went off to the library for books on racing pigeons. He came back with a few, and a mountain of building materials on the back of his ute.
    'The thing is, Sandy, these racing pigeons live in lofts.' He dropped the pile of books on the kitchen table and flicked open the top one. 'See, look at this. This is what I need to build.'
    On one page there was a photo of a little house on stilts. It had chicken wire across the front, and inside were various pieces of miniature furniture — they looked like tiny chests of drawers — which turned out to be feeding and water equipment. On the opposite page were drawings showing how to construct this loft.
    Jack settled into the task, which ended up taking most of the weekend. I went out and gave him a hand, passing nails and reading out measurements. I was sort of hoping we would get it all done on the Saturday, but it was obvious by about five o'clock that it would be a two-day job.
    We ended up finishing late Sunday afternoon. We put water in the little container, and Jack mixed some concoction of feed for the bird. Peas, maize, oats, rice, barley; apparently you had to have the ratio just right to keep the bird healthy.
    As he tipped this mixture into the feed container I lifted Velocity out of her hamper. 'There you go, girl,' I said. 'Welcome to your loft accommodation.' She tilted that head of hers to one side and, like lightning, nipped me on the wrist.
    She drew blood. It oozed out of the wound, which was shaped like the point of her beak. It was surprisingly deep. I dropped her; Jack quickly scooped her up and put her in the loft. 'Jesus, Sandy, be careful.'
    'She bloody bit me.'
    'Well, you were probably squeezing her or something.'
    'I wasn't. I was holding her just like you do. I've probably got some disease now. What do they get, these birds? Rabies?'
    'Don't be stupid,' he said. He stayed outside, watching the bird strut around its new home, while I went inside and found a sticking plaster. I waited a bit, thinking Jack would probably come in and check I was okay. But he didn't.
    Velocity and I quickly reached an understanding. I fed her; she attacked me. I didn't like her. It's hard to like something that wants to kill you.
    The weird thing was, after that first time she behaved herself with me when Jack was around. He would give her to me, and she would sit quietly in my cupped hands, little black beady eye in its yellow ring sussing me out.
    'See,' Jack would say, 'she's fine with you. My two girls.' His face would glow with a love that appeared to be divided equally between me and Velocity.
    The night before Velocity's