Emotional Intelligence 2.0 Read Online Free Page B
Author: Travis Bradberry, Jean Greaves, Patrick Lencioni
where they come from and why they are there. Emotions always serve a purpose. Because they are reactions to your life experience, emotions always come from somewhere. Many times emotions seem to arise out of thin air, and it’s important to understand why something gets a reaction out of you. People who do this can cut to the core of a feeling quickly. Situations that create strong emotions will always require more thought, and these prolonged periods of self-reflection often keep you from doing something that you’ll regret.
Self-awareness is not about discovering deep, dark secrets or unconscious motivations, but, rather, it comes from developing a straightforward and honest understanding of what makes you tick. People high in self-awareness are remarkably clear in their understanding of what they do well, what motivates and satisfies them, and which people and situations push their buttons.
The surprising thing about self-awareness is that just thinking about it helps you improve the skill, even though much of your focus initially tends to be on what you do “wrong.” Having self-awareness means you aren’t afraid of your emotional “mistakes.” They tell you what you should be doing differently and provide the steady stream of information you need to understand as your life unfolds.
Self-awareness is a foundational skill; when you have it, self-awareness makes the other emotional intelligence skills much easier to use. As self-awareness increases, people’s satisfaction with life—defined as their ability to reach their goals at work and at home—skyrockets. Self-awareness is so important for job performance that 83 percent of people high in self-awareness are top performers, and just 2 percent of bottom performers are high in self-awareness. Why is this so? When you are self-aware you are far more likely to pursue the right opportunities, put your strengths to work and—perhaps most importantly—keep your emotions from holding you back.
The need for self-awareness has never been greater. Guided by the mistaken notion that psychology deals exclusively with pathology, we assume that the only time to learn about ourselves is in the face of crisis. We tend to embrace those things with which we’re comfortable, and put the blinders on the moment something makes us uncomfortable. But it’s really the whole picture that serves us. The more we understand the beauty and the blemishes, the better we are able to achieve our full potential.
What Self-Awareness Looks Like
Dave T., regional service manager Self-awareness score = 95 1
What people who work with him say:
“Dave has clear long-term goals, and he doesn’t make sacrifices for short-term gains. Dave is an ‘up-front’ kind of guy who doesn’t play ‘mind games’ with people. I have witnessed this at company meetings and in meetings with customers.”
“The best example I can provide for Dave is his move to our company. I’m sure there was an intense desire to make changes within the local team right out of the gate, but Dave took extra care to diagnose the situation, the team, and the customer prior to offering suggestions or mandates for change.”
“In short, Dave manages his emotions; they don’t manage him. I’ve seen him accept difficult business news with a brief frown, and then he quickly moves beyond that and partners with his team to find solutions to improve the situation.”
Maria M., human resources manager Self-awareness score = 90
What people who work with her say:
“In every situation that I have been involved with, good or bad, Maria has always remained calm, cool, and collected—even at times when I know she must have felt frustrated or angry. Maria is really honest about what she is feeling without getting bent out of shape about it. When faced with a difficult situation, she knows how to be firm and still kind at the same time.”
“She is open
Self-awareness is not about discovering deep, dark secrets or unconscious motivations, but, rather, it comes from developing a straightforward and honest understanding of what makes you tick. People high in self-awareness are remarkably clear in their understanding of what they do well, what motivates and satisfies them, and which people and situations push their buttons.
The surprising thing about self-awareness is that just thinking about it helps you improve the skill, even though much of your focus initially tends to be on what you do “wrong.” Having self-awareness means you aren’t afraid of your emotional “mistakes.” They tell you what you should be doing differently and provide the steady stream of information you need to understand as your life unfolds.
Self-awareness is a foundational skill; when you have it, self-awareness makes the other emotional intelligence skills much easier to use. As self-awareness increases, people’s satisfaction with life—defined as their ability to reach their goals at work and at home—skyrockets. Self-awareness is so important for job performance that 83 percent of people high in self-awareness are top performers, and just 2 percent of bottom performers are high in self-awareness. Why is this so? When you are self-aware you are far more likely to pursue the right opportunities, put your strengths to work and—perhaps most importantly—keep your emotions from holding you back.
The need for self-awareness has never been greater. Guided by the mistaken notion that psychology deals exclusively with pathology, we assume that the only time to learn about ourselves is in the face of crisis. We tend to embrace those things with which we’re comfortable, and put the blinders on the moment something makes us uncomfortable. But it’s really the whole picture that serves us. The more we understand the beauty and the blemishes, the better we are able to achieve our full potential.
What Self-Awareness Looks Like
Dave T., regional service manager Self-awareness score = 95 1
What people who work with him say:
“Dave has clear long-term goals, and he doesn’t make sacrifices for short-term gains. Dave is an ‘up-front’ kind of guy who doesn’t play ‘mind games’ with people. I have witnessed this at company meetings and in meetings with customers.”
“The best example I can provide for Dave is his move to our company. I’m sure there was an intense desire to make changes within the local team right out of the gate, but Dave took extra care to diagnose the situation, the team, and the customer prior to offering suggestions or mandates for change.”
“In short, Dave manages his emotions; they don’t manage him. I’ve seen him accept difficult business news with a brief frown, and then he quickly moves beyond that and partners with his team to find solutions to improve the situation.”
Maria M., human resources manager Self-awareness score = 90
What people who work with her say:
“In every situation that I have been involved with, good or bad, Maria has always remained calm, cool, and collected—even at times when I know she must have felt frustrated or angry. Maria is really honest about what she is feeling without getting bent out of shape about it. When faced with a difficult situation, she knows how to be firm and still kind at the same time.”
“She is open
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