Driving Lessons: A Novel Read Online Free

correct?”
    “Huh? It’s front-wheel drive, Sarah.”
    “I know, but like, the back of the car tilts the opposite way from the way I turn the wheel, yes?”
    “Sarah. What the hell are you talking about?”
    “I don’t know!” I shrieked. “I don’t know! I don’t know how to drive, okay? I’m an idiot!” I put the car in park, opened the door, and attempted to get out, just as I realized that my seat belt was still fastened.
    “Shit,” I grumbled as I undid the buckle and escaped. Josh looked out at me through the window, his mouth slightly agape. He turned the car off and opened his door. I stepped back, examining the grass.
    “Hey,” he said quietly, taking my hand. My lip trembled. “Hey, Sarah. Look at me.” I shook my head as a tear rolled off the tip of my nose. “C’mere.” He kissed the top of my head.
    “I’m a moron,” I sobbed. “I don’t know how to drive.”
    “You’re not a moron, Sar. You’re just out of practice. It’s okay. It really is.”
    “You didn’t believe me when I told you I couldn’t drive,” I offered.
    “I know. I just—well, I thought you were exaggerating.”
    “Yeah, no. Not so much.”
    “Mmmm-hmmm. Well, you’ll practice with me.”
    “No, noooo. No way.” I pulled out of his hug and wiped my nose.
    “Why not?”
    “I’m not going to do that to our marriage, nosir. Ten minutes on the road with me behind the wheel and one of us will be thinking about purchasing a firearm.”
    “It’s very easy to do here, by the way. Buy a firearm, I mean.”
    I wiped my cheek with the back of my hand. “Maybe I can take driving lessons or something.”
    “Like a fifteen-year-old?”
    “Yes, like a fifteen-year-old, Josh. Thanks for the support.”
    “No, of course. Of course I support you. It’s very smart of you to go about it this way. Very responsible.”
    I leaned my torso against the passenger side of the car and folded my arms on its warm roof. “You’re patronizing me,” I announced.
    “I’m not, I swear.” He put his hand on my shoulder and squeezed it gently. “I know this must be hard for you.” He moved in closer and kissed the side of my face. “And frustrating. It’s like me and my fear of flying.”
    “Sort of. Although, you can get around flying and not be a total recluse.”
    “But I wouldn’t if it wasn’t for you. Remember our honeymoon?”
    “I basically carried you onto the flight.”
    “How many glasses of scotch did I consume at that airport Chili’s, anyway?”
    “Enough. I think at one point our waitress just brought out the bottle.”
    He grimaced. “So I owe you, is what I’m saying. I honestly don’t mean to patronize you at all. I understand. We’ll get through it.”
    “Thanks, Josh.” He rested his forehead against mine for a moment before opening the passenger-side door for me with a smile.
    On the way into town, I texted Mona. Is it weird for a 36 yr old woman to take driving lessons? Nothing fazed Mona, except for the occasional uncommunicative suitor. She had not only a scuba certification but a skydiving one as well. She would have a field day with my driving phobia.
    I hadn’t spoken to her since we’d arrived, which wasn’t entirely inexcusable—we’d only been here three days—but it was still bothersome. I’d left two messages. She’d probably already forgotten all about me. Out of sight, out of mind. Call me, you jerk! I added, and slipped my phone back into my bag.
    “Here we are,” announced Josh, pulling into a parking space in front of a small house that looked a lot like our own.
    “They make chicken out of their house?” I asked.
    “Yeah. Must be pretty convenient. Just roll out of bed and into the kitchen.”
    “Yeah, but what about the smell?” I asked as we got out of the car and made our way toward it.
    “The sweet smell of crackling skin? Sounds delightful to me.”
    “Josh, right?”
    I looked up. A very tall, very blond Uma Thurman lookalike floated toward us. My