down, circle, circle, enter. See, I still have it.”
“That remains to be seen. Let’s see how many lives
we lose saving the queen. I don’t think we ever had a perfect game.”
“I’ll just be happy if we make it past level
five!”
We leaned back against the bed, watching the
images fade into darkness. I couldn’t think of a more perfect way to end the
day. “Thank you,” I whispered.
“Don’t worry about it.” Natalie nodded and pushed
the buttons on her controller.
We fell into our
routine, a comfortable pace of helping each other, arguing about the hard
levels, and falling back in laughter during the easy streaks. I had forgotten
more than I’d thought. The smooth movements and combinations I remembered were
gone, faded with time, replaced by clumsy, last-minute reflexes. That’s what I
was afraid of. How could I hope to remember the memories of my life here if I
couldn’t recall a silly code?
As perfect as it
was, it didn’t last. Hours felt like minutes, and, sooner than I expected, the
game was over. We saved the queen and brought down the evil empire in record time.
Natalie undid her
ponytail and yawned. “I’m going to bed. That game wiped me out.”
I gave her an odd
look and then remembered she had cheered at school before coming here. “Sure,”
I said, tapping a rhythm on the controller. Without the distraction of the
game, nervous energy prickled through me. I wasn’t ready yet. Not for sleep.
“You’re not tired?”
she asked, crawling into her sleeping bag.
“Not really. I have
a lot on my mind,” I admitted, biting my lower lip. That was an understatement.
“Do you want me to
stay up?” She yawned again and laid her head on her hand. Her mascara had smeared,
exaggerating her drooping eyes.
“Nah, don’t worry
about it. I’ll be asleep soon.”
“Okay, if you’re
sure,” she said, pulling the sleeping bag over her head so only the tip of her
head remained out. “I’m glad we did this. This was fun.”
“Me too.” I smiled
over at the familiar lump of my friend sleeping on my floor. Out the window
above her, the stars twinkled as they disappeared and reappeared from behind
the slight scattering of clouds. I yawned, and the lights blurred.
I would n’t sleep. My racing thoughts were like a whirlpool,
pulling me down. And even though I knew how to swim, the current was too
strong. I wasn’t ready; I doubted I ever would be. I felt pulled in every direction.
It was hard to
decide which were stronger, the memories pulling at my heart or the pang of
wishing I had more. Did it really matter? The sadness filled me the same. The
ache chased my heart as it raced around my insides. There always seemed to be
enough time until a countdown actually began. Once that timer started, everything
spun out of control.
Most of the
decisions were in someone else’s hands, but not all of them. I looked down at
my hands, gripping the old game controller. Maybe I could still control
something after all.
“Dun-dun doo-bee
doo ,” I sang quietly, making sure
Natalie’s eyes stayed shut as the game reloaded from the winning screen to the
main menu. I would save the queen again, and in some way, maybe myself, too.
I yawned, waiting
for the hero’s dance to begin. Heaviness pulled at my eyes, fighting the urge
to play. I held on to the controller like it was the last reminder of my
childhood and forced my eyes open. Out of the darkness, the golden
letters popped up again. I typed in the code,
but my thumbs slipped, pressing the wrong combination.
“Crap.”
I pressed the
letters and symbols again. My eyes popped wide open as I waited for the
confirmation. I let out a deep breath when I saw the secondary screen. It
worked.
I
accepted and leaned back against the bed, waiting for the hero to dance
across the screen once more. For some reason, this round took forever to load.
My gaze drifted back out the window towards the stars until they became
unrecognizable. I rubbed my