Doubting Our Hearts Read Online Free Page B
Author: Rachel E. Cagle
my best friend. There won't be any rave reviews or Brayden speeding on his motorcycle to come find me carrying our love fern. Nope, the most I'll get is my name in 12-point font under the picture of some stunning slice of male.
I will admit it was nice to know he might actually see a picture I'd taken, even if I couldn't show him myself. But as I watched his face linger on the words of the article he was reading, a smile grew on his face. Not a smirk at some quick wit comment or short laugh that turned into a smile, but an honest to God genuine smile. I took a quick picture then stared from my spot across the street wondering what could be in that issue that peaked his interest. I do remember Jerry wanting to use one of my photos for the issue that month, but who knows. I was just happy watching that beautiful smile on his face remembering times when we laughed and joked about everything that surrounded us.
Needless to say, the last ten weeks working freelance have made me focus more on my career, but they have also made me question it. So, I have tried to take my camera where ever I go. I'll snap some pictures here or there. My baby is always in my hands, and I know I still must look like a total tourist. I don't mind though.
Each time I question my career choice, I find something to take a picture of. Not the scripted pictures I'm paid to take for the magazine, but the ones when no one's looking. The ones that you can find beauty in something that may be inconsequential to your life at the moment, but one glance may allow you to look further and deeper to see the meaning behind the image. The meaning for you. Once you find that meaning, something that seemed insignificant makes sense in your life.
I suppose I can say that's what I'm trying to find for me. The meaning in my life. Maybe one of these pictures will help me find that. Until then, I just have to take things one day at a time.
Chapter 2
Lillian
"Ms. Anderson, I take it you have the shots from the shoot yesterday ready for me?"
"Yes, sir, I do." I hand Mr. O'Conner, Editor and Chief of GQ magazine my proofs. As he looks through them, I hear his soft grunts or huffs then a murmured hmm as he reaches the end of my pile.
"Do you have the thumb drive?"
"Yes, here you go, sir." I hand over the thumb drive with the pictures on it and wait for his direction.
"Excellent. I'll have Susan call you to let you know how many we're going to run."
"Thank you, sir. Have a great day."
I turn to leave his office, but just as I reach the doorknob, he speaks, "Ms. Anderson, I was wondering if you might be interested in doing a shoot at the end of the week."
"I would be glad to. Just tell me where you need me and I'll be there."
"Wonderful." He takes a deep breath then gets up from his chair to gaze down on the happenings of Times Square. "You know there is a staff position opening up soon. I love your work over the last few months and I've seen many other things you've done." He said as he looked up from the hustle and bustle of the craziness that is New York to meet my eyes. "Would you be interested?"
Wow. The editor and chief of a major magazine is asking me if I'm interested in a staff photographer position. I've always done my own thing. I've never been employed somewhere before.
"I don't know. I never really thought about it." It's true though. I've always just shot what I felt I needed to capture. It's never about the logistics of making something or someone exhibit a particular feeling or act. It's always about how the image feels to me.
"Well, how about you take a few weeks to think about it. The position won't be open for another month. Just keep doing what you're doing. Susan will let you know about the address for the Friday shoot."
"Thank you, Mr. O'Conner. I appreciate your continued support of my work." I turn back to leave before I realize I forgot to ask what the shoot was about so I can be prepared on Friday. "Sir, who should I expect to
I will admit it was nice to know he might actually see a picture I'd taken, even if I couldn't show him myself. But as I watched his face linger on the words of the article he was reading, a smile grew on his face. Not a smirk at some quick wit comment or short laugh that turned into a smile, but an honest to God genuine smile. I took a quick picture then stared from my spot across the street wondering what could be in that issue that peaked his interest. I do remember Jerry wanting to use one of my photos for the issue that month, but who knows. I was just happy watching that beautiful smile on his face remembering times when we laughed and joked about everything that surrounded us.
Needless to say, the last ten weeks working freelance have made me focus more on my career, but they have also made me question it. So, I have tried to take my camera where ever I go. I'll snap some pictures here or there. My baby is always in my hands, and I know I still must look like a total tourist. I don't mind though.
Each time I question my career choice, I find something to take a picture of. Not the scripted pictures I'm paid to take for the magazine, but the ones when no one's looking. The ones that you can find beauty in something that may be inconsequential to your life at the moment, but one glance may allow you to look further and deeper to see the meaning behind the image. The meaning for you. Once you find that meaning, something that seemed insignificant makes sense in your life.
I suppose I can say that's what I'm trying to find for me. The meaning in my life. Maybe one of these pictures will help me find that. Until then, I just have to take things one day at a time.
Chapter 2
Lillian
"Ms. Anderson, I take it you have the shots from the shoot yesterday ready for me?"
"Yes, sir, I do." I hand Mr. O'Conner, Editor and Chief of GQ magazine my proofs. As he looks through them, I hear his soft grunts or huffs then a murmured hmm as he reaches the end of my pile.
"Do you have the thumb drive?"
"Yes, here you go, sir." I hand over the thumb drive with the pictures on it and wait for his direction.
"Excellent. I'll have Susan call you to let you know how many we're going to run."
"Thank you, sir. Have a great day."
I turn to leave his office, but just as I reach the doorknob, he speaks, "Ms. Anderson, I was wondering if you might be interested in doing a shoot at the end of the week."
"I would be glad to. Just tell me where you need me and I'll be there."
"Wonderful." He takes a deep breath then gets up from his chair to gaze down on the happenings of Times Square. "You know there is a staff position opening up soon. I love your work over the last few months and I've seen many other things you've done." He said as he looked up from the hustle and bustle of the craziness that is New York to meet my eyes. "Would you be interested?"
Wow. The editor and chief of a major magazine is asking me if I'm interested in a staff photographer position. I've always done my own thing. I've never been employed somewhere before.
"I don't know. I never really thought about it." It's true though. I've always just shot what I felt I needed to capture. It's never about the logistics of making something or someone exhibit a particular feeling or act. It's always about how the image feels to me.
"Well, how about you take a few weeks to think about it. The position won't be open for another month. Just keep doing what you're doing. Susan will let you know about the address for the Friday shoot."
"Thank you, Mr. O'Conner. I appreciate your continued support of my work." I turn back to leave before I realize I forgot to ask what the shoot was about so I can be prepared on Friday. "Sir, who should I expect to
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